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Re: Mike99
Jul 18, 2003
Thanks okie and philster. It was all stuff out of my control, so I could either go nuts or accept how things were (and are). Okie, you are quite correct - I certainly would have ended up physically dependent on the meds. But like I said, I took MUCH more than I needed for pain control. Actually, I took as much as I could find/score from the docs, and as much as my body would tolerate. I have that little boy on the swing mentality: "Higher, Daddy, HIGHER!!..."

I wouldn't say that it's harder this time, but it is not easier, either. Basically, even with a 2 year break, I pretty well picked up right where I left off; it's not like I was able to use alot less drugs.

I've said it on several threads here - I am a BIG fan of buprenorphine detoxes (subutex and suboxone). I will qualify that by saying that I didn't have luck with the 3 day detox - too short for me (my body is still WAYYYY too mad at that point to go totally off the bup). I personally think 7 - 14 days is more like it. They give you 4 mg of suboxone for 3 days (in case there are any drugs still hanging around your body. Suboxone does NOT go well with any opiates - it can make you very sick. And suboxone with benzos like xanax or valium can actually kill you - they gave me a urine test for benzos first before starting the treatment). Anyway they upped me to 16 mg (that is where my symptoms stabilized, and I still felt okay when coming in the next day for meds). Now, I go down 2 mg per day until this coming Thursday. I can't wait! I am already feeling pretty normal (not high and not sick, imagine that!) and dealing fairly well with the other unavoidable withdrawal symptoms (pretty bad pain down the back of my legs, fatigue, headaches, and some irritability). Some of the pain is just a result of my previous back issues - it all kind of mixes together for the first month or two after quitting, I noticed.

Anyway, I REALLY appreciate the words of support from you all. I will certainly keep you up to date on how I am doing. Like I said, the buprenorphine worked before, and I believe that God can use doctors and medicines to accomplish what I DO know He wants - a clean Mike!

An FYI for anyone with chronic pain. They now offer long term suboxone treatment - usually 16 - 24 mg per day. Many pain doctors probably already have the license necessary. Buprenorphine has a "ceiling effect", which means that you will catch a mild buzz, but won't get higher than that - you can, however, get increased pain control. But I don't have any personal experience with the long term, just what they say. I want OFF all of these drugs. I can deal with a pain level of 3-5 on the pain scale every day. I just can't handle a stoned scale of the same amount every day! Rots my soul ...

I will try and post again later. How are YOU feeling, okie? Hanging in there? How about you, philster? Seems like you've had some pretty rough times yourself (and I've barely scratched the surface of each DAY's posts, let alone going back in time!!!). And okie - remember, you keep praying and God will lead you to the right church. Even now, He is changing lives to bring people just like me, you, and philster through the doors of wherever that church is, and they'll need your help! You can show them this forum, and show them alot of love (I can see that you have it!) until they can love themselves again. (That's actually the number one reason I want to be clean and free - so that God can send me to help rescue somebody else from this hell on earth we call addiction....)

God bless. If I can't get on again today, I'll shoot into the office tomorrow (since I'll be in the area) and check out your posts...

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