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Hope...
But my point is that you seem to preface a lot of what you say from an authoritative position (i.e. repeating your credentials)

[b]I really haven't until a question came up in the suboxone thread about its pharmacology; and I just finished taking an elective in it and felt I knew how and why buprenorphine works. When someone says you're wrong, and yet you've learned something different from a professor who teaches the stuff, it's difficult not to defend ones position.[/b]

yet you continue to be in active addiction but apparently don't have much more than a vague plan to discontinue your use.

[b]I guess I'm not understanding how you cant understand how knowledge is mutually exclusive from being an addict, being indecisive, asking about others experiences, etc. I'm really just like everyone else, with just a few more classes under my belt, perhaps. Even counselors do (and often) relapse and become vague about their own recoveries. It's all part of the battle. Addiction has no boundaries when it comes to professions, knowledge, gender, class, etc.[/b]

I don't see how someone with your credentials can fall into the traps we call justification, rationalization and denial. Do you understand what I am saying?

[b] Yes I understand. I've tried explaining it above. I think from this point on, you should forget about the fact that I even talked about my credentials. It has nothing to do with the reason I am here. It just came up because of a heated issue [/b]

I think most of us can agree that we come to this board because we are either firmly convinced we have a problem or are curious if we really do have a problem.

[b] Yes, and I have a problem [/b]

I simply want to know what it is that makes it so difficult for you to cross that hurdle and give the drugs up.

[b] Same with anybody else here. I'm no different really. Physicians get diseases, they smoke when they know it's not good for them, etc. [/b]

I have the intellectual tools to live a sober life, there are times when I disregard what my intellect tells me and I end up relapsing and then experiencing that overwhelming demoralization that goes along with it.

[b] When did you start thinking that intellect has power over addiction? That's assuming that where there's a will there's a way; or that where there's some knowledge, we have a better chance. A person with no intellectual knowledge may or may not do better than one who is more educated, let's say. You can know something is wrong intellectually and continue to self-destruct for whatever reason. That's the nature of addiction, IMO. [/b]

"if you know so much and have all the credentials, what is it that has caused you to relaps?"

[b]For me - I believe it's depression. I have been dually-diagnosed and we tend to self-medicate to feel better. At least I know this is why I relapsed recently. I also can pinpoint certain life situations that are external that I need to work on so that I won't just continue to relapse. It may be different for you...only you know....I have no problem in answering or responding to anyone questions/thoughts/concerns; sometimes a few can come across as attacking and/or challenging..perhaps it's me, but that's the way a few came across on another thread

You take care
Kitty [/b]





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