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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


Hi Everyone,

I am new to the board, but I have been reading your posts for awhile now. I feel so much better knowing that you guys can relate to what I am going through.

I need everyone's help......PLEASE!

I have been addicted to Percocet for almost 2 years. I take about 6-8 10mgs pills a day. I am finally at the point, that I can't function without them. I started taking them for an injury that I substained from a accident which caused me severe back pain. I still have back pain, but not as bad as it was in the beginning. I have had several steroid injections that I have actually helped me as far as the pain is concerned. I now take them just to function because my body craves them. The funny thing is, they don't get me high anymore, so why do I continue to take them? I refuse to take more then 8 pills a day, so I do have that much under control. I am sure if I took more pills, I would get the good feeling I use to get from them, but I won't!

I am so sick and tired of these pills cosumming my everyday thoughts. I am so tired of looking at the clock waiting for my next dose, and I am really tired of running out early. I am just tired, tired, tired!

These pills have killed my sex life, and is now taking a toal on my 18 year marriage. Please I need your help, I need to know how to stop this vicious cycle that I am in.

When my doctor perscribed me the pain medication, I told him that I was afraid to take them because I knew that I would become addicted to them. He then gave me a choice to make, it was either be addicted or be in pain, so I chose to be addicted instead of being in pain.

I started out with the lowest form of Vicodin, to the highest. Then I went to Lorecet which finally stopped working and I was taking a very high dosage. I guess since the Lorecet has a lot of tylenol in it, and because of the amount that I was taking, my doctor took me off of them and put me on Percocet. He started me on the lowest dose which I believe was 5 mg, and I quickly built a tolerance to them, and started taking double of what I was suppose to. That is when he put me on the Percocet 10mg.

I am so scared to go through withdrawl, because of the one time I ran out early. I ran out early one month and I went crazy. I was so irritable, cranky and I became a mad women. I had these very strange episodes where my heart was pounding so hard, that I felt like I was dying, it was a really weird and scary feeling. So,I finally went to the doctors and told him that I had ran out of my meds early. Since I had never ran out early before, he gave me another script. Since that time, I now run out early every month, but can't ask my doctor, because then he will know that I am an addict.

Every time I get a new script, I swear that I will do better this time, yeah right! I run out early all the time, and for some odd reason, I don't worry about it until my bottle is almost empty! I have tried several times to let my husband hold and monitor them, but he just gives in, because I go beserk on him, and then I do the thing that most guys hate with a passion, I withhold sex from him. I know what I am doing is so wrong, but I just can't seem to stop!

I have become a manipulative, lying and deceitful person, and that is so unlike me. I hate the person that I have become. These dam pills are destroying my life, but for some stupid reason, I just can't seem to give them up.

This is what this addiction has done to me: It has killed my sex drive, and when I do have sex, it takes FOREVER to have a orgasm, my hand always feel hot, (not sure why that is), I have gained weight, I have isolated myself from friends and family, my hands and feet are always swelled and I have been smoking almost 2 packs of cigarrettes a day, which I use to only smoke a half of pack! My biggest complaint is, I went from sleeping 8-10 hours a day before any pain medication, to 3-4 if I am lucky. Is it possible that the percocet is causing my insommia? I hate the thought of sleeping, and I hate night time! I don't know if the percocet is contributing to this, or if this is just something that just happened, what do you guys think?

Please help me or tell me what to do. I am so ready to quit, but I am so scared of the withdrawls. I need to know what has helped some of you, and what I can expect as time goes by. If I do this, which is what I really need and want to do, could I come here and get support and encouragement from you guys?

I would be very grateful for any help and advice that I could get from all of you wonderful people. There is nothing better then getting advice from a group of people that have gone through this. The reason why I say this is, because I have told a few selected friends what I am going through, and they just say, "what is the big deal, just stop taking them." What they don't understand is, if I do just stop taking them, I will go through withdawls, and get very sick which I guess I have to be prepared for.

I need your help as soon as possible because, I am suppose to be going to my doctor this week for a refill, and my doctor has been wanting to put me on Oxy Contin with percocet as break through for some time now. He has wanted to do this for the last 6 months or so, but to be honest, I am scared of the Oxy Contin, because I know how I am, and what I am capable of doing. I think it would be easier to get off the percocet then the Oxy Contins....or am I wrong? I have always heard that if and when you get off of Oxy Contin, you need to go to detox for that vs. the percocet.

Anyway, I am ready to do this, but I need each and everyone of you to help and support me, I don't think I can get through this alone. I know that this is a lot for me to ask of you, but I am desperate to beat this addiction, and if it takes begging a bunch of strangers to help me with this, then oh well.

I am hoping that you guys answer all of my questions, and give me some ideas as to what to and what not to do, to get me through one of the most difficult times that I will have ever had to deal with in my entire life? I would also like to know who was successful in quitting this awful addiction. I want my life back, and I will do what I have to do, in order to get it back. I will not let these pills continue to control my life, and take everything that was good, and turn it upside down!

PLEASE HELP ME,.........PLEASE!

Thank you all in advance for your help.

Take Care, & God Bless,
~Creeky

[This message has been edited by Creeky (edited 08-10-2003).]
Hi Cetiya,

Thank you to responding to my post. I am so sorry to hear that you are miserable, somehow I can relate to that. It makes me very sad to hear that you are feeling this way. If there is anything that I can do to help you, please know that I am here for you, and I will help you in anyway that I can.

I have always heard and have been told that if you take your medication exactly how it is perscribed, then you won't become addicted, what a lie that was! I have learned personally that it doesn't work that way.

I have stayed away from the Oxy Contin for over 6 months. My doctor suggested the Oxy's to me because I have chronic pain. He says that the Oxy Contin is easier on the liver, then the percocet because of the tylenol thats in it. My doctor keeps pushing me towards the Oxy, and I keep refusing it. I know that I have an addictive personality, so if I take it, I know that I will be addicted and I don't want that to happen!

You had mentioned in your post that you checked into a detox center that offers benzos, what is benzos? And what is clonidine? Do I need both of these to get through withdrawl? I don't have insurance but my dad said that he would pay for any rehab that I needed, so that will help my situation.

You had stated, that I would know when it was time to act on this, I can tell you that I am at that point. I am truly sick and tired of all of this, and I have had enough already! I just want to get over with it and be done with it, and start enjoying my life again.

I would like to thank you for your help on this. I am very grateful to you and everyone on this board for helping me out with all of my questions. It seems to me that there is a great amount of support here, and knowing that, makes me feel pretty good. I think the more information I have on this, the better off I will be when the time comes. I will know what to expect and hopefully, it will make it easier.

Thanks again for all of the great info, I really do appreciate it. Please take care of yourself, and know that I am here if you ever need anyone.

Take Care,
~Creeky





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