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Thanks for the replies. I feel like I need to clarify that I'm not getting divorced b/c of my pill use though. My ex was a pill head who got me into them, but I left him b/c he was cheating on me, etc. The thing with the divorce is that it has broken my heart, and I've used the pills to numb my emotional pain. I'm a normal-seeming functioning addict though, and sometimes I wonder if I'm taking a small enough dose that it isn't doing any harm.... but I know that's not true. I went to a new pain doc b/c my new hmo didn't want to prescribe me 120 a month. He flat out told me that I am too young to be on meds and I can't take them forever and they will kill me. I'm trying to get my mind off this crap. I've got Xanex and taking Metabolife and tons of vitamins for energy. When do you get your energy back though? To me, feeling normal is being on opiates, which is sad, and I don't know if I'm ready to deal w/life without them.





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