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This is the girl from Atlanta with the xanax problem. Thank you so much for your replys Alleycat, Rockingham,LaynesAddiction1 and all the rest that took the time to help me. I made it through work today and I'm really tired. I didn't sleep at all last night but I ended up fussing with my better half. He doesn't understand withdrawal and not being able to sleep. He gets angry when I can't sleep and some nights I can't just lay there and feel the pain. I have to move and get up and down and I want the television on ---it distracts from my pain. Am I the only one like that???
OK you asked for my addiction history. I started out on pain pills the doctor gave me. I complained regarding pain for about 1.5years. My gynecologist said he could not find anything wrong with me. He even went as far as telling my husband -it was in my head-I was a hypochondriac. Of course my husband believed him. He almost convinced me. I knew my pain was real!!!! I kept seeing physicians and they just kept prescribing. Finally,I seen one that said, "There is a problem." "You are not imaging it!" I was extremely happy not that I wanted to be sick but thankful wasn't imagining it. We set a date for surgery and when the doctor went in could not believe what he found---I had endometriosis. It had spread from my uterus to my bladder to my kidneys on to my intestines and almost to my spinal cord. He did what he could--then two months later we did a complete hysterectomy-followed by surgery again three months later to try and remove some of the endometriosis from my intestines. All in all I had seven surgeries and they still did not get it all- what they left hurt plus by then I was definitely addicted to pain medication. I was on Dilaudud--injectable in the hospital but pills at home. I had a son and was going to college at Chapel Hill, NC. I managed to graduate with honors from collegel even with all the surgeries and during the time my husband whom I had married at 16 contracted Leukemia and died from his tours in Vietnam and being exposed to Agent Orange. My son was 11 when he died and I was in the middle of college and sick. Then they didn't know much about Endometriosis as they do now. After they diagnosed my husband with Leukemia and we were arranging for a bone marrow transplant-he died within one month after being diagnosed with Leukemia,which was very difficult for me. I had never been on my own and now I had a son and was sick and my husband was dead!!! I was afraid of the dark. My son and I slept in the living room on a mattress for months so we could see both the front and back doors. Ha! Ha! It's true. Somehow I continued on. I had a very good physician who did take care of my pain so I could graduate. I couln't sleep after my husband died and he put me on Placidyl 500mg for sleep. I liked it and began to take it more and more. Then after 6 months--he said "No More" . That was a living Hell--My eyes wouldn't shut for 5 days and I thought I would die. After that I never again would take sleeping pills. Let's see if I can shorten this story some-I graduated and moved back home to Atlanta and went to work at Emory University Hospital Pharmacy on the cancer floor. I made chemotherapy, antibiotics, Morphine pumps, Dilaudud Pumps for the cancer and leukemia patients. I made all the narcotic medicine along with another pharmacist. I worked there and handled it allfor about nine years. I still took pain pills occasionally but kept it under control. My job meant everything to me. After a while, I began to have trouble again with the Endometriosis on my spinal cord--the pain was unbearable-I couldn't seem to get enough pills from the doctor, I had about 3 bad love affairs and my son was in college and I was all alone. I was depressed and very dis-satisfied with my life. One day when I run out of pills aand the doctor would not call me in anymore-I said what the heck -I throw away enough Dilaudid from the overfill in the vials. I would just keep it for myself--or the morphine. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. I got very addicted. I was shooting up 12x in 24 hours and even at work. I had to go shoot up every 2-3 hours at work. I descended into a hell --I'm sure some of you are familiar with. If I didn't shoot up-I went into withdrawal and couldn't work. It finally caught up with me and I had to check into rehabilitation and I lost my job not my license but my job. It took me a long time to come out of it and start over. I won't go back to work where they are narcotics because I can't. I went back to school and became****And now I still have pain but my husband and Doctor got me on the Xanax for sleep. He fusses at me when I won't lay there and sleep and claims he can't sleep aand that I keep him awake. That was the main reason I started taking the xanax to shut him up and because I felt guilty and tired some mornings. Methadone did save my life-I was able to restart again and go back to school and get married again. This is my story--for you Rockingham and all the others. I am not ashamed---I have regrets ---but I have learned alot along the way and Now I have a very special compassion for "addicts" and "People in Pain" I might never have had. OK my friends help me get through this weekend. I have absolutely no plans besides I get too weak. My methadone holds me to about 4-5pm at the latest. At 11:00pm it gets rough and I have the long night ahead. Help? Help? I'm so happy I found this web site. Thank you all for your help.

------------------
I Care

[This message has been edited by Debcakepromed (edited 09-19-2003).]
[quote]Originally posted by Debcakepromed:
[b]This is the girl from Atlanta with the xanax problem. Thank you so much for your replys Alleycat, Rockingham,LaynesAddiction1 and all the rest that took the time to help me. I made it through work today and I'm really tired. I didn't sleep at all last night but I ended up fussing with my better half. He doesn't understand withdrawal and not being able to sleep. He gets angry when I can't sleep and some nights I can't just lay there and feel the pain. I have to move and get up and down and I want the television on ---it distracts from my pain. Am I the only one like that???
OK you asked for my addiction history. I started out on pain pills the doctor gave me. I complained regarding pain for about 1.5years. My gynecologist said he could not find anything wrong with me. He even went as far as telling my husband -it was in my head-I was a hypochondriac. Of course my husband believed him. He almost convinced me. I knew my pain was real!!!! I kept seeing physicians and they just kept prescribing. Finally,I seen one that said, "There is a problem." "You are not imaging it!" I was extremely happy not that I wanted to be sick but thankful wasn't imagining it. We set a date for surgery and when the doctor went in could not believe what he found---I had endometriosis. It had spread from my uterus to my bladder to my kidneys on to my intestines and almost to my spinal cord. He did what he could--then two months later we did a complete hysterectomy-followed by surgery again three months later to try and remove some of the endometriosis from my intestines. All in all I had seven surgeries and they still did not get it all- what they left hurt plus by then I was definitely addicted to pain medication. I was on Dilaudud--injectable in the hospital but pills at home. I had a son and was going to college at Chapel Hill, NC. I managed to graduate with honors from collegel even with all the surgeries and during the time my husband whom I had married at 16 contracted Leukemia and died from his tours in Vietnam and being exposed to Agent Orange. My son was 11 when he died and I was in the middle of college and sick. Then they didn't know much about Endometriosis as they do now. After they diagnosed my husband with Leukemia and we were arranging for a bone marrow transplant-he died within one month after being diagnosed with Leukemia,which was very difficult for me. I had never been on my own and now I had a son and was sick and my husband was dead!!! I was afraid of the dark. My son and I slept in the living room on a mattress for months so we could see both the front and back doors. Ha! Ha! It's true. Somehow I continued on. I had a very good physician who did take care of my pain so I could graduate. I couln't sleep after my husband died and he put me on Placidyl 500mg for sleep. I liked it and began to take it more and more. Then after 6 months--he said "No More" . That was a living Hell--My eyes wouldn't shut for 5 days and I thought I would die. After that I never again would take sleeping pills. Let's see if I can shorten this story some-I graduated and moved back home to Atlanta and went to work at Emory University Hospital Pharmacy on the cancer floor. I made chemotherapy, antibiotics, Morphine pumps, Dilaudud Pumps for the cancer and leukemia patients. I made all the narcotic medicine along with another pharmacist. I worked there and handled it allfor about nine years. I still took pain pills occasionally but kept it under control. My job meant everything to me. After a while, I began to have trouble again with the Endometriosis on my spinal cord--the pain was unbearable-I couldn't seem to get enough pills from the doctor, I had about 3 bad love affairs and my son was in college and I was all alone. I was depressed and very dis-satisfied with my life. One day when I run out of pills aand the doctor would not call me in anymore-I said what the heck -I throw away enough Dilaudid from the overfill in the vials. I would just keep it for myself--or the morphine. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. I got very addicted. I was shooting up 12x in 24 hours and even at work. I had to go shoot up every 2-3 hours at work. I descended into a hell --I'm sure some of you are familiar with. If I didn't shoot up-I went into withdrawal and couldn't work. It finally caught up with me and I had to check into rehabilitation and I lost my job not my license but my job. It took me a long time to come out of it and start over. I won't go back to work where they are narcotics because I can't. I went back to school and became****And now I still have pain but my husband and Doctor got me on the Xanax for sleep. He fusses at me when I won't lay there and sleep and claims he can't sleep aand that I keep him awake. That was the main reason I started taking the xanax to shut him up and because I felt guilty and tired some mornings. Methadone did save my life-I was able to restart again and go back to school and get married again. This is my story--for you Rockingham and all the others. I am not ashamed---I have regrets ---but I have learned alot along the way and Now I have a very special compassion for "addicts" and "People in Pain" I might never have had. OK my friends help me get through this weekend. I have absolutely no plans besides I get too weak. My methadone holds me to about 4-5pm at the latest. At 11:00pm it gets rough and I have the long night ahead. Help? Help? I'm so happy I found this web site. Thank you all for your help.

[/b][/quote]






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