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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Re: Lisa
Sep 15, 2003
I feel like **** I have no energy, I am ache, I have the runs, and I know I will not be able to sleep tonight. Went through detox was alright after about 16 days. Had subtex first 6 they were great, not high but felt normal. I relapsed, if you can call it that since I really had no clean time in the first place. I relapsed three days ago. Just took some lortab, well I actually threw in a two shots on different days, 2 k-4's and 50mg morphine, but it was taking 8 to 10 lortab a day I belive for three days that got me back in this shape. hope it does not take another 16 days of corse i was doing a lot more for a couple of years before i quit so i do not belive it will be as bad. I had to go to my grandfathers furnal last week was gone out off town all week. Did not go to my meetings, I don't know I just wanted to feel good for a few days to talk to all the people and be @ the furnal. I know it is all excuses not valid excuses. I went back to NA today and told them that I had not been abstaining completly. Smoked pot the first day out of rehab, and drank when I wanted to. I also used cocaine while @ my dads he had some left over from a month ago I had brought him. How do you save something that long it was not a large amount only a half gram. I have a hard time accepting not being able to use anything since pain pills were my only physical addition. But drinking just makes me want pills everthing does when i am doing other things i am really wanting pills, the coke made me feel good for a few minites, but there is no substuite for opiates to knowledge. I was starting to feel better however. And I feel stupid that now I have to start out all over again.

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