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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I have posted a couple of times I think, but I read everyday. I'm through the physical withdrawls for the most part (still have restless legs and trouble sleeping) but I think that I'm still really shaky, and I appreciated everyone's honesty and candor on this board.
I was taking 4-6 Vics or percs per day for 3 years. I decided to deal with the withdrawls all at once, and thank god that's over. However, my problems seem like they're just beginning. I also have a big drinking habit. I drink a six pack of beer or a bottle o f wine just about everyday, I don't know how to relax otherwise. Now I'm having to move in with my boyfriend in three weeks, and I'm terrified of all my 'dirty little secrets' that I have to give up (he knows about the pill problem, not about all the drinking). I am so stressed out about this move, and about this new stage of my life and my relationship. I still have about 100 pills hidden in a drawer at home, and I'm totally paralyzed as to what to do with them. I know you'll tell me to flush them, I know that it's really sick that I haven't done so. But I'm scared that without having them 'just in case' that I will not be able to deal with my new living situation, the move, the new roomates, the adjustments. Is it enough that I've managed to take only two pills in almost two weeks? Do I really have to get rid of my stash? I know I do, because I think about them in my drawer everyday. For now, I'm too scared to do it.
My plan was to stay off the pills for three weeks (I slipped last weekend and took two), then to focus on cutting down the drinking. I guess my questions are: Has anyone else used alcohol to relax? Did you quit? How was that experience compared to staying off of pills?
I guess I'm feeling extremely depressed and unsure of myself. Will I ever have enough energy and confidence to live a happy life without drugs? I still dont' know.
Anyway, thanks for the invitation to post. You are all priceless people.

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