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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hi all,

First time poster, been lurking here for the last 3 weeks. About a month ago I had a panic attack/nervous breakdown. It was my first week of being on-call at my new job and it was rough going. I had been a heavy smoker (stoned all the time except when I was at work) but now I was getting paged out at all hours. I'd just light up and get relaxed when bam, the pager would go off. I became a nervous wreck and had only about 3 hours of sleep in as many days when I finally broke down. Not fun to do in front of your boss and co-workers

Had to make an emergency trip to the doctor. I talked with her, she calmed me down and prescribed Atavin. I didn't tell her about my pot use when she asked me if I abused any drugs. I took the next 4 days off, was able to get some sleep, but sufferred the blackest depression I've ever experienced.

I resolved to quit caffeine and the weed and I pretty much stopped cold turkey. Sleep is still difficult but the depression is mostly gone, coming back only briefly at times. That may be due to the recent time change and the nasty weather we've been having. I continued on the Atavin for several days (half a tablet) and eventually tapered off.

Well I'm back on call now and I've started smoking clove cigs, something I used to do only occasionally. Had to start up on the Atavin again which helps.

I'm scared I'm going to replace my pot habit with cigs but I guess that's better than the alternative. Just had one and it really calms me down, or maybe it's just writing this that's helping. I have a few very supportive friends who know what I'm dealing with (my family doesn't know about my pot habit).

Have a room-mate who's a pothead which certainly doesn't help, neither does the fact that he's made basically no effort to get a job in the last 6 months. He owes me a crap-load of back rent and basically it kills me that he gets to stay at home all day getting stoned while I bust *** at work. He's been one of my best friends for over 10 years but now that I'm sober I'm not sure how much more I can put up with.

Sorry this is so long but I certainly feel better having written it. Thanks to the other posters who've shared their problems, certainly has been a big help to me.

Taking one day at a time,
Pavlov70





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