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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hi Everyone, :wave:

I have been lurking on this board for several months now, and I have never seen such a great bunch of people support each other, the way you guys do. I posted on here several months ago seeking some advice, and you guys were very supportive to me and gave me a lot of great information on how to deal with the withdrawls.....

Well, things have not changed for me, they have only got worst. I still am taking the percocets along with soma and ambien. When I originally posted several months ago, I was only taking 6 percocets, so as you can see I am having a hard time beating this addiction. I take up to 9 10/325 percocets, 4 sommas and a 1/2 ambien at night.

This all started out because of a back injury that I substained at work almost 2 years ago. I do have back pain but I would rather deal with the back pain then to deal with this addiction. I am tired of watching the clock, counting pills, worrying if I am going to run short, dirty looks from the pharmist, always making sure I have enough pills when I go out, and all the stress that this addiction has caused me.

I hate what I have become. I use to hate who I was, but now I would do anything to have the "old me" back! I have isolated myself and stay inside for days at a time. I don't seem to take care of myself the way I use to as far as my appearance is concerned. I have no energy to do anything but to sit or lay around the house. I have a hard time sleeping and am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep. As far as my sex life goes, it has killed my sex drive. These pills no longer make me feel good like they use to. I only take them now to feel normal and stop the withdrawls.

Could the medication that I am taking be responsable for me isolating myself and all of the other things I listed above? Or could it be depression?

The thought of going through withdrawls scares me soooooo much because I am such a wimp! I hate feeling bad or sick, and that is what stops me from getting off these pills that are destroying my life..

I do give myself some credit, not much, but some. My doctor wants to put me on oxycontin, but I refuse to take them because I have heard that the withdrawl from them is just awful, and to be honest with you, I am just to scared to take them. Also, I never go over 9 percocets a day, so I still have some control over the amount I take. I take 6-9 a day, I won't allow myself anymore then that.

I called a detox place to get some information on detox, and they said that my pill amount wasn't that bad and that most people taking percocet, take 15 or more. He said that if I do decide to go through with it, that I should say that I take more percocets then I do so it guarantees me a bed. Has anybody ever heard of this? Should I lie and say I take more then I do, so it is considered a emergency? I will do what I have to do. Has anyone ever been to detox? If so, did they give you something to help ease the withdrawls?

I am sorry that this post is so long. I guess I am desperate for help. I don't know if I should wean myself, or go through a 5 day detox. All I know is that I want to stop this vicious cycle that I got myself into.

Any advice or suggestions, would be greatly appreciated because I do value everyone's opinion.

Thanks for listening,
~Creeky





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