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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


I've got a question too! I'm currently dating a wonderful man and have been for almost a year. We will probably end up getting married. I can definitely see me with him for the rest of my life. My question is this... he knows NOTHING of my illness. He knows that I took a lortab here and there but that's it. I told him about a month ago that I was 'starting to like lortab a little too much so I was going to stop'. He was like 'o.k.'. Well... taking this Sub... it's hard to do when I spend the weekend with him when the kids are gone. I finally broke down this past weekend and told him that it was a new anti depressant and that it has done wonders for me. I also told him that was why I haven't been drinking because you are not supposed to drink while on anti dep. Should I go ahead and take the plunge and tell him the truth? His best friend is married to an addict (who slips up badly about every month but she gets back up every time) Anyway, he sees the pain that he goes through watching his wife do this. Also, he sees that they have to 'pick and choose' which parties they go to based upon if drinking will be there or not. My boyfriend drinks moderately and enjoys it. He actually said to me the other day 'I'll be glad when you start drinking again because I don't like to drink alone'. We were leaving a party when he said that. Should I tell him the truth? I don't think I could take losing him. Also, and I HATE to say this but if it were me... I don't think I would want to be married to an addict since I watched my mother take pills her whole life and she never changed. She ended up killing herself with them. I'm scared to tell him and I don't think I should but I'm living a HUGE lie. One additional thing... he told me that he told his best friend that I don't drink anymore because he said 'it really doesn't do anything for her... she just doesn't like it' This was all before I told him the lie about the Sub. He didn't seem like he cared then. I hope I'm making sense. I'm in a huge hurry... gotta run and get the kids. Talk to you guys later! And thanks for all of your help. You guys are truly an inspiration. It's so nice to know we are all here for each other. Speaking of... Michelle... what's up, girlfriend? How are you?
[QUOTE=Banker1151]I've got a question too! I'm currently dating a wonderful man and have been for almost a year. We will probably end up getting married. I can definitely see me with him for the rest of my life. My question is this... he knows NOTHING of my illness. He knows that I took a lortab here and there but that's it. I told him about a month ago that I was 'starting to like lortab a little too much so I was going to stop'. He was like 'o.k.'. Well... taking this Sub... it's hard to do when I spend the weekend with him when the kids are gone. I finally broke down this past weekend and told him that it was a new anti depressant and that it has done wonders for me. I also told him that was why I haven't been drinking because you are not supposed to drink while on anti dep. Should I go ahead and take the plunge and tell him the truth? His best friend is married to an addict (who slips up badly about every month but she gets back up every time) Anyway, he sees the pain that he goes through watching his wife do this. Also, he sees that they have to 'pick and choose' which parties they go to based upon if drinking will be there or not. My boyfriend drinks moderately and enjoys it. He actually said to me the other day 'I'll be glad when you start drinking again because I don't like to drink alone'. We were leaving a party when he said that. Should I tell him the truth? I don't think I could take losing him. Also, and I HATE to say this but if it were me... I don't think I would want to be married to an addict since I watched my mother take pills her whole life and she never changed. She ended up killing herself with them. I'm scared to tell him and I don't think I should but I'm living a HUGE lie. One additional thing... he told me that he told his best friend that I don't drink anymore because he said 'it really doesn't do anything for her... she just doesn't like it' This was all before I told him the lie about the Sub. He didn't seem like he cared then. I hope I'm making sense. I'm in a huge hurry... gotta run and get the kids. Talk to you guys later! And thanks for all of your help. You guys are truly an inspiration. It's so nice to know we are all here for each other. Speaking of... Michelle... what's up, girlfriend? How are you?[/QUOTE]
Banker
Of course you must tell him! And now. Your relationship must be built on truth and trust or it is not worth anything. If you leave it any longer - what do you think he will feel? At best - he wont trust you. Come on - it has to be done. If you love him - then he is obviously a man in whom you can trust? Or there is simply no love. Tell him and if he loves you he will give you all the support he can. If - by any chance - he cannot support you - then he cannot love you - and better to find out now? I bet you will get all the support you need. You cannot do this alone!
yinksy





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