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Re: To Murphy
Jan 16, 2004
Wow, that's pretty amazing. I started taking them after each child birth (I have 3 children, 8, 5, and 19 mos). I knew after my first one that I enjoyed them but I just enjoyed it while I had my prescription and then once they were gone, I didn't go searching for more. After my second child (c-section) I was on them for about 4 weeks and then I really, really enjoyed them. After that, I would just take one here and there... maybe a friend would have one and I would get that. It didn't become a huge problem until in 2002 my sister had cancer and was going through chemo and they gave her 200 vicoprofen. Well, she also had oxys and those were what she would take so she gave them all to me. I went NUTS with them. That was the first time I had withdrawal. After that, I went about two months without any and then started again but not everyday. I had headaches and some female pain so I would get prescriptions all of the time. But, that turned out not to be enough so I started buying them and it was all down hill. It started getting really bad around June of last year. When Sept and Oct rolled around, I was up to about 18 10s per day and When I got up to past 20, I knew I was going to die if I didn't stop. I'm sure you've heard me say that my mother passed away because of her addiction and she was an addict my whole life. It's amazing that I still chose to take them recreationally when I saw her die from them. She was in about 8 rehabs throughout my childhood. It was a complete nightmare. I had to take care of her at a very young age and had alot of resonsibilities as a child. It was horrible. I hated her for what she was doing to herself and her family. Then I became addicted and found out exactly how she felt. I think that might have been a little message from God for having so much hatred toward my mother. Of course, I live with the guilt every day for not being more understanding but at the same time, I could not enable her drug use. Anyway, I went and told my normal doctor which was hell too because I said 'I've been taking more lortabs than what you are aware' and he actually laughed and said 'I bet you have'. When he realized how serious it was, he wasn't laughing anymore. He refered me to a doc who gave me the clonodine and phenobarbital and told me to get off of xanax and everything. I couldn't stop my xanax as I really, really need it. So I found another doc (My dealer referred me to) and he put me on the Suboxone. I still was buying methadone off of the streets to keep me out of withdrawal and I was scared I was going to get addicted to the meth but I was also scared to death to start the Sub because of the 'acute withdrawal' issue if you take it too soon after an opiate. Anyway, I held on to them for almost 3 weeks before I took it and it took my best friend holding it in front of me telling me to take it because I was starting to withdraw and had already called my dealer for more meth. Anyway, it was hard to take it because I knew my days of getting high were over but it's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It saved my life and I'm so thankful for it. I'm back to my normal self and guess what, I kind of like who I am. :-) It's great... I'll probably be on it for at least 2 years if not for the rest of my life. Boyfriend of one year doesn't know anything, I mean nothing. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Thanks for sharing yours... and have a great weekend!!

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