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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Re: New
Jan 29, 2004
Hello to the Newbies. I'm only a month old. :D Your stories sound sooooo familiar. My twin and I are also 4-a-day (up to 7 occasionally) hydro 7.5 gals!!! (You'll find our original story posted by my sister--"best friend" is her site name--when we joined.) It took us quite awhile to get up to this level. For a looong time one or two a day was just fine. Now, when we try to taper more, we feel exactly as you do. "A train going over you" is a very apt description. And, for us, too, the depression is the absolute worst of it. The world feels like such a sunnier place with the dreaded pills--and because we're not on such a high level, what these pills are doing to our body is inperceptible to us. It's only when we try to stop that we know for SURE what they're doing to our bodies.

If science could come up with a drug that was "natural" and good for the body--that made you feel so sunny--now THAT would be something! :) Why can't medical science "tap" that joy from our OWN natural brain chemistry!? What a fantasy!!

But, since this medical miracle is not going to happen, we just live with the guilt and the knowledge that until we totally go off this stuff, nothing very healthy will be going on inside us. About 20 minutes of feeling sort of good--in exchange for an addiction that preys on us. Very, very soon, our supply will be dead..and then we will HAVE to take that step. (Funnily enough, when I checked the Suboxone site (can't remember which it was), for a list of near-by physicians who dole it out, I found my OWN doctor (the psychiatrist who balances my antidepressants) listed! That was a shock. But, of course, I've never admited to him I take those hydros. Ridiculous, I know.

Anyway, just wanted you newbies to know that a lot of us are all rowing together in the same boat! Maybe we can all make it to the shore together! :D In the meantime...welcome aboard! :wave:


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