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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Woe is me
Mar 8, 2004
Well, after taking care of sick children on my b'day and the rest of the weekend, I started throwing up yesterday (Sun) around noonish. It was horrible... Sick! I was begging my eight year old to help w/the baby but he just wouldn't do it. I don't know what his problem was. I normally don't put too much on him as far as chores, or anything but he was being a big butt! I had to call doctor to get phenegren and get boyfriend over here to watch all three kids. Well, I went to bed around 1:00 pm and JUST woke up (2:00 a.m.). Now, I feel better but I have to work on Monday so It's going to suck, going in after being up from 2:00. I took a xanax and was going to take a dose of Sub becuase that helps me sleep. Don't want to take anymore phenegren or I never will wake up in the morning. I've thought of just staying awake and toughing it out. I think my bf had to be rather tough on the kids for them to listen, which means they probably hate him even more. I just hate this - he's never going to develop a good relationship with them, which means he and I will be over. It's so hard being a single mom. I mean, really hard. Normally, I just would have called the 'dads' and they would have come and got them, but the babies father is out of town. Know what else is hard? That I don't have a mother to call on to help me with things like this. I would have, had addiction not been the death of her. Also, the father that I met when I was 18 doesn't have anything to do w/me so it's like I really don't have a family. I have two sisters, both w/children who NEVER would have come over to help, thinking they would 'catch' the illness, and I can't blame them for that. I wonder if I didn't have my boyfriend, what in the hell would I have done? See, once again, dependant on a boyfriend (or husband) for things my family should be doing. It's tough not having a mother and father - please for those of you that do and they get on your nerves or whatever, please just try to over look their bad points and be happy they are there for you. And please pray that I am better and can work on Monday morning and get kids ready for school and daycare. I really cannot afford to miss anymore work. I'm missed a lot already. Thanks for listening to me whine... and feel sorry for myself. Every now and then, I have to.

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