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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Re: Pot
Apr 1, 2004
HI Thanks alot for replying. Yes i did stay sober for 6 days!!! I had a rough day fighting with my bf as usual and said "One more night of smoking will not hurt me i need to relax" So i lit up, and from there on in its been almost EVERYNIGHT. I did have Insomnia when i was not smoking, and headaches and mood-swings, but i dont know if the headache and mood swings were a part of the withdrawl i know the insomnia was....

I always think about pot. When something goes bad in my day i feel like smoking a joint, If im bored i just want to light up and it always seems like when you smoke pot things are so different Even the smallest things. I find it easier to do alot of things when i smoke pot, I get in a cleaning mood and just start cleaning everything in the house. Going for a walk is so much more fun when im high, I used to drink also, but since i got so much in to smoking pot i cant even stand to touch a alcoholic beverage. Weird huh??

I KNOW for a fact that POT has made ME MORE dpressed then i was, But i still continue to smoke it. Yesterday i woke up and i promised myself i would not smoke pot, because i need to work on getting better for me. I sat here on the computer lastnight and i craved a joint. So i did i lit one up and for a while i was ok but after i finished smoking it i felt really bad and guilty "wHY the hell did i do that?"

Everything i do involve being high. I make up excuses just to stay home so i can smoke a joint (my bf does not know i smoke pot) He is a totally different story, probably what drove me to smoking it in the first place LOL. I lie and tell people i dont feel good when they ask me to do something , just so i can smoke my pot. Im basically turning in to a hermit and im really starting to feel less and less like me, like i used to feel before mary j came in to my life... Its already happend to me i have no job,Im insecure about my self no self esteem (although i had no self esteem before pot i believe it has made it worse.) i dont do anything i sit home smoke pot clean and just feel like im isolating myself and i dont want to feel like this for the rest of my life NO way will i let this happen to me, i have plans for my future and i have been putting them plans off for way to long for what? to get high everynight and wake up feeling crappy, with NOTHING? i dont think so... Im going to make something of my life... thats another problem., I say this and that but i NEVER FOLLOW through on it.
Pain killers do nothing for me but make me SICK .. I get a better feeling smoking pot then i do from a pain killer, and i get sick if i take a pain killer. Although when i got surgery i did like the demoryl, I think it is a really good thing that they dont have shots of demmoryl around here becausei would be in a deeper hole then im in now!
Yeah im 25 today!!! :) Im a April fools baby! lol (wonder why?) LOL

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