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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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M, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Leaving my babies was the biggest obstacle to my decision to go to detox. (I am trying to go in 2 weeks and have made arrangements for trusted friends and family to help with the kids.) NA has convinced me that I am not really there for them without being clean. And one short week to 10 days is so short in the scheme of things and if I can kick this while they are still this young, they won't remember me as an addict. I will be 40 soon and will be coming off of norcos, klonopin and ambien, though norco's my DOC. I don't abuse the klonopin or ambien, but they make you come off of it all. I can't stand the thought of detoxing at home, being unavailable for my kids and hearing them cry for me. And having them going somewhere else is not feasible, because we have everything babyproofed and set up for them right here.

By the way I have suffered from depression and obsessive compulsive disorder most of my life, but have managed it with meds. I am also finding out that I may have underlying thyroid/hormonal problems and/or ADD which, if treated could change my entire life. I wouldn't have discovered these problems had it not been for my pill problem which led me to search for alternative therapies for my headaches and a chiropractor who couldn't believe I had never been diagnosed with thyroid problems. Also, Banker, on this board, alerted me to the possibility of ADD. So it is because of my recovery efforts that my life may turn out to be better than it was before the pills.

I understand how scared you are. I tried to taper and, although I was able to substantially lower my dose, I just can't let go. I am going to NA meetings and have a sponsor and need to go through the steps.

Make the choice to live and be a clean and sober mom, which is the best kind, even if you don't believe it now. Coming clean with your doctor means you are serious and you will do it. You have already been more honest with your doctors than I have!

I actually do not have that much knowledge re getting off the benzos by way of pheno-barb, but that is what they plan to do with me (I have had a seizure in the past). You can make it through this. Your brain is chemically altered right now, and you are looking at everything through a warped point of view. Right now, I think I am the only one leaving young ones to go to an inpatient detox, but I really want to get off of these pills and know deep, deep down that I will be a much better mom off all of this stuff. And time is ticking!! Meetings will be integral to my recovery, I know.

Thank you so much for sharing with us. As far as tapering off valium goes, yinksy has all the info on that, but don't know what the ramifications are when you are on sub as well.

God bless you, you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please, please keep us posted.

luv,
rosie





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