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Re: Michelle?
Apr 8, 2004
Michelle - What a compliment to you---you are the subject of so many threads that I didn't know which one to write to you on!! :-)

Well, first of all....everyone has said just about everything to you that I could have! I am just sooooo happy that you have an appt with the addictionologist next week. Nothing could make me happier. You need to have someone who specializes in YOUR care...YOUR problem. It's YOUR turn to go first..and put others aside for a bit until you are on the right path to being well. It's just temporary--because, I know'll be back "in action" as caregiver in a nanosecond--as soon as you know you're on the right track. And I don't think even a Scud missile could stop you!! LOL!! But, you just give yourself a little "tea and sympathy" right now.

I know it must be so hard to tell hubby, etc. (and I do so understand the fear of the info "getting around" to others in your town. Unfortunately, we still do not live in very enlightened times--we react to mental or drug illnesses like we've just seen a mouse--we run in the opposite direction.) But...this is when you weed out your real friends. And it's not as though you are running an ad in your local paper "Michelle wishes to announce her addiction to her friends and neighbors....." And--you may yet get thru this with only your family knowing the truth (and a close friend.) But...if it does leak just have to say to yourself that nothing is more important than you getting well--both for your family...and for YOURSELF!!! :-)

Now's the time you most need your husband's and your family's support. You do not need ANY guilt laid on you. You seem to have enough of your own in abundance! :-) Once you get over the worst part--telling those you love--then it's THEIR turn to take care of you. ( what if you've "been here" before--your addiciton is much too important for you to be so worried that..."I've asked them so many times before." I know that you have...but it doesn't matter. At that time, you weren't ready...and it almost seems as if your husband chose not to follow up with you by not asking any questions about your emotional and physical state. (Like..."if Michelle's not an emotional wreck...then I'm just going to tiptoe around her....and hope for the best.") You need someone who asks you EVERY day how you are feeling...and if you need any help.

Okay! Lynn lecture over! :-) Unfortunately, not having been thru the process of abandoning drugs completely, I cannot be one of those who can tell you what to expect emotionally and physically. But you've got such dear friends here, who can. (Which reminds me....why do I see "banned" under Yinksy's name? That's got to be an error, eh?? What in the world....??? :-( and reread every message that she and your friends have said to encourage you. Print them out and always have one at hand! :-)

I can't wait to hear how your appt goes next week! That is really exciting!!! Maybe you doctor can explain exactly how the sub and the darvocet affected you together. (I thought you took SubOXONE?) Get him to write down exactly what symptoms you should expect...and approximately for how long. Maybe he has some literature on the chemical workings of these drugs.

Bye for now.....I will talk to you real soon, luv, Lynn

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