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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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[QUOTE=Hope12]Murphy,
I have to say this,your doctor sounds freakin insane.The last email to you was just plain offensive.I don't know what type of insurance you have or any of the logistics,but if I were you,I'd get rid of all of them and make an appointment with someone new.See if you can get some recommendations from the day program you're going to.With the disease you're battling,the comments in that doctor's last email to you was just plain inappropriate.Stick with the program your in,though,and get what you can from it.Meanwhile,I'd inquire about other doctors and therapists that would be able to take you.There seems to be real lack of communication among the ones you have right now,and you don't seem to be getting the best treatment available that you could otherwise be getting.Hang in there Murph,this isn't easy,but you seem pretty tenacious about your therapy,(which is great),I just think some new docs and therapists are in order,ones who will actually care.

God Bless and Take Care,Stacie[/QUOTE]

Stacy,
You are 100% right. My Dr. made a decision for me that I did not choose. Berating E-mails from an addictionologist. He recently send me another one and at the end said don't bother E-mailing me back because it could trigger a relapse!

I did anyway saying that my income relied on work with computers and to quit taunting me about my previous source of drugs and as an addictionologist he should be aware that millions of people these days get their drugs from this source. Period. These Drs. think they are god.

One MAKES a decision for me w/o consulting with me and now, as a result I am off the suboxone when I think it is more important to be on it at this point. Then he is late with calling in the very script that is causing all the problems in the first place. I DO take responsibility for my stupidity and making a mistake - but I was honest with the Dr. from the beginning and as we all know relapse is part of addiction.

I AM going to the program, which gets me up early (not used to) and staying all day, not a break since I've been discharged on Thursday. I don't know how many more days my insurance will cover.

But I have to admit, I am not a big fan of the 12 step program. And I'm very resistant to changing alot of things. Today ended badly when a slur was detected in my voice and everyone in the group thought I had taken something (in a caring way) but it's just the clonidine patch which has completely sapped my energy, and my mouth is dry and it is just hard to talk.

And I have to be honest, I just don't care for the 12 step program. I GO right now to be around people because I am very much alone - and that's it, but by the time I get home, I'm so tired. I can only sqeeeze in one message and I saw yours Hope and resonded because it was so correct.

I have to start all over somehow. Bills to pay, etc. with really nooone to help and I can't tell you how tired I am. I guess that's the point to exhaust me. But I will be alone soon anyway. And I fear relapse greatly.

Please Right back Stacie
Murphy
555...a good friend told me once that my drug problem was the source of all of my other problems and doin the drugs just makes everything worse cuz you do not think logical....your drug issues are for sure whippin up a huge hrricane and tornado in your life that is so uncalled for.....your wrong about the 12 step....not one person has ever not been successfull if they hit the 90 mtgs in 90 days...thats proven success....you need that support from people who have been in recovery a lomg time...you just dont want to quit your benzos and/or suboxone....you should be goin to the 12 step to hear the message of hope in recovery..not that the only thing you got out of it was bein tired....from reading your posts i could see why a doc would have a comment about your emails....recovery doesnt just show up one day and your cured.....the only thing that would put you into relapse is your own fears,which you seem not to control feelins too well...i dont think you know what you really want...one day its off subox,nows its a bad idea,next day its off valium,you go to the clinic and boom you cant take it anymore and you were just sittin waitin to be seen...throw awaay all your drugs and deal with the w/d's...i also think you only here and listen to what you want to and if not then its everyone elses fault or you find to put the blame anywhere but where it lies......i hope god blesses you and shows you that there is a good life out there waitin for you,but no one but you can open the door and walkin...chef





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