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I need help!

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. He is such a great person but I think he has a drinking problem. But I'm so confused because he is not what I would consider an alcoholic (typically). He only drinks once in a while but when he does he just doesn't know when to stop. He gets really depressed and down on himself when he's drunk. He gets mean too. Not violent mean, but he just starts feeling too sorry for himself. He yells and says that I don't understand what he's saying (of course I don't, he's making no sense at all). Then he tells me to leave because he wants to be alone. Basically, when he drinks he becomes a totally different person. The real kicker is, the next day he acts as if nothing happened. If anything, he's even more happy the next day. He never seems to have a hangover or any kind of guilt or regret. I try to bring up some things that he said and how much they hurt me but he doesn't even remember.

He has told me before that he had a drinking problem when he was in college which caused him to mess up a lot of things including being drafted to the major leagues and loosing his scholarship. His family and friends confronted him on it (I think its called an intervention) and he changed on his own without AA or anything like that. Now, he is very careful. He never drinks around his family, he's capable of only having one or two beers when he's out with clients or friends, and he NEVER drinks a thing when he knows he has to drive later.

Why is it that he can have such good will power around everyone but me??? What should I do? I love him sooo much. When he's not drinking (which is 99% of the time) he is the most wonderful person and we have a great relationship. We're best friends.

Obviously, his drinking hasn't caused too much problems since we've made it this long. However, we're starting to talk more seriously now and I'm worried. I love him and think he would make a great husband and father. But I'm afraid that his problem will get worse.

Although he only drinks occasionally, I know he loves it. When he does drink, he's happy until he has had one too many. If only he knew when to stop....

I don't know if I should confront him on this. I have talked to him about it and he admits he needs to have more control. But that doesn't matter once he starts drinking. Like I said, he's not even himself anymore when he's drunk. Should I give him an altimatum to get help or I'm leaving? Or will that just make things worse? I notice he only drinks like this when he is feeling stressed or down about something.
Also, is he an alcoholic? I don't want to label him when I don't even know what defines an alcoholic. Does he need to give drinking up altogether? Because there are plenty of times that he manages not to go overboard with drinking. And in almost 3 years, he's gotten this way maybe 10 to 12 times. He doesn't drink on a daily basis. However, I do believe that alcoholism is in his blood. As soon as he lets his guard down it will take over his life.

Sorry I've rambled on so long. I'm just so confused. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I know he's the only one who can help himself, but is there anything I can do in the mean time to deal with this myself? I can't see him going to AA alone but is there somewhere we can go to together? Just so that he can see how his drinking makes me feel and I can get a better understanding of why he drinks and what I can do to help him.

Thank You!





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