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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Simplystupid..
I used painkillers for a couple years, however for the first year I took a very low dose because I was pregnant. I was actually prescribed vicodin after my first trimester for headaches. I only took about 1-2 a day. Thank god my baby is fine. My little girl was born last 4th of July and thats when it got bad. I had an emergency c-section and got all kind of drugs. Spent 4 days in the hospital on a complete high. Came home with lots of vicodin and what do you know..i had no problems keeping the house clean, getting my other two kids to school and sports..making dinner and doing all this on about 4 hours of sleep a night. So for the next nine months I got pills anyway I could. Went to the ER a couple time, had 2 cosmetic surgery procedures done, complained to every doc I could about my back pain and headaches, complained to the dentist about tooth aches, had a tooth pulled ect. I could go on. When all else failed I started buying online. I took anything I could from percoset to ultram. I would have never been able to taper and do this on my own at home. I didn't have the will power. Luckily my husband took two weeks off to help me and I went to detox. Hated every minute of it, but I am glad now because they makes me even more motivated to keep off these drugs. I was in detox for a week and that was bad, but the worst was the next week once I got home. At least in rehab I had some valium and muscle relaxers. When i came home I felt horrible..had no energy, couldn't sleep a wink and my body ached. Not to mention the psycholgical problems. You know it was hard, but if it was easy then we would be addicts. The only think i can say is that you have to do whatever works for you, but you have to stick with the plan. I found myself a few times wanting a pill so bad, but before I went into rehab I made it impossible. I got rid of everythin..i even told my friends if you have pills in the house hide them if I am coming over cause I will steal them. I made my husband put a password on the computer and I told my doctors of my addiction so they wouldn't give me anything if I begged them. You just have to be ready and cover all your bases. You know what you are capable of and how you get your meds well make that impossible. It is scary and you will definitely think that you will feel like crap for the rest of your life, but you won't!! You will feel better, but you have to give your body time to heal and unfortunatly we don't know how long it will take. Forme it was about 3 weeks before I was feeling somewhat like myself again. There are still bad days, but they are far a few between now. Everyday will be a challenge thru the nastyperiod of w/d's but you can do it. For me the sunshine was my saving grace. I would have been screwed if I did this during the winter. I also loaded myself up on vitamins and went every morning to the juice shop to get my smoothy and wheatgrass shot. I made myself get up everymorning and jump in the shower and then I dropped my two kids at school and took the baby somewhere. I didn't know where I was going, but i made sure I stayed busy no matter how hard. Forget the house. I am still trying to clean up that mess. I will probably never be as on top of things as I was while using. If i had that kind of natural energy then I probably wouldn't have started using in the first place. Thats o.k. We arn't perfect. You have to let that part go cause your sobriety is much more important. Anyway..sorry for rambling on. Also if I didn't mention i took anywhere from 8-10 pills a dayduring the last 9 months I was using. Its crazy but you said you always caved around the 6-7 day and it was the 7th day when I came home and rumaged thru every drawer knowing I wouldn't find anything, but if I would have had something you bet I would have caved too! Just cover all your bases and get it done. You will be so much happier!! My thoughts are with you!

Rosie..
Hey my detox partner...how are you doing??? Arn't you at 30 days too or even over?? Congrats to you too!
Jenny





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