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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi everyone-
Suboxone user since june 2003...kind of...went on to detox-did 3 week taper.
3 days off-and i felt sick..thought i could do a little something..turned into a 2 week binge.Out of money/ill again-i called dr.suboxone-i went back on a maitainence plan-8 mgs a day.
I still had a few relapses until november-and haven't touch any dope since then.
Using any other opiates w/ the sub definitely makes you feel bizarre-once i stopped messing around and really settled in-and dropped the dose to 4mgs-i was fine.
My problem is stiffness-almost arthritic-in a.m.-plus the dreaded weight gain-which is due to the need for sweets-i never gained like this other than when i was pregnant-now i try daily to stop myself-but its the late night sweet attack-that gets me-i have settled into an exercise program-and am losing very slowly-but now that im up on the dieting thing(reading books/mags/web)slow-1/ 1 lb. a week-is the way to go..
there is a web site banker..fitday .com where you can log/activities/food and it will break down you calories/nutritional intake/calculate/ you can record all your work-good/bad/ugly...truth.
According to this past week-im burning more than eating so ill let you know-if anything is happening-i do know that i dropped 5-7 lbs-depending on the day..since i began this exercise program-
The suboxone is a life saver for people who could not seem to stop the relapse aspect-and i just kept going back to using-whether it was boredom/craving/depression-my brain is so used to being opiated i couldn't get off and find any peace.
Plus-i have the additional problem that i used w/ my husband-partners in crime-and one of us would be strong-(usually him)and one of us would be wanting to use-but we both kind of egged each other on.
Now that we are both on the sub-we can settle into living-basically a "mellow life"-go to work/hang out/whatever-we really got used to the chaos-copping/using/the whole thing became a way of life-its so laid back now.
We did have 7 years together before we used drugs-so our relationship was not founded on a drug buddy thing.
We always kept up our jobs/home-as best as we could-no one in our familys knew we had a problem-until we decieded we needed to go to detox-we both did 5 in patient detoxs/and at least 10 c/t attempts-and im not kidding over 20 or more methadone at home detoxs.
So-Suboxone...was the saving grace-and this is the miracle cure for opiate addicts.Until its time to come off-and im hoping that as i am being taken down in dosage-ill still be strong-and this time of perspective will carry over-and finally give me a chance at an opiate-free life-cos i don't want to be a junkie ever again..too old too tired-no hustle.
Got to grow up sometime-so im in preparation mode-hopefully ill be physically fit-(by then)-and mentally ready to take on life-minus the dope.
Thats why the boards mean so much to me-like chef said-its part of my recovery-an at home AA meeting...keeping it up front daily-and being helpful to other addicts.
Wishing us all some peace in this life...

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