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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Well...I've tried some methods I'm sure you guys might find silly.....or not.I bought a bunch of morphine from guys at work,thinking I'd "trick" my body into thinking it was getting opiate, and be able to kick that way,,,only problem there was it was like putting out a fire with gasoline.2 days later I was on Hydro and morphine.....even on the Morphine I was craving hydrocodone.
Hydro has always got me UP,not down...the Morphine was like melting.I play and coach baseball,and hitting an 80 mph fastball is do-able on hydro,not on morphine.I can play music on hydro but not on morphine....so that was not a good method(you can all stop laughing now)
I remember periods of my life when I was really happy drug free,felt close to god and had a lot of hope.......It just seems so long ago.
I just had another talk with my wife,and my job is definitely a source of immense frustration......just pretending I'm not there.
Two summers ago I was recording with members of Tom petty and the heartbreakers,sheryl crowes band and the neville brothers...we were using the back-up singers from the stones and being produced by some of the heaviest hitters in the music industry......All the while I was sanding and prepping windows in a 100*+ warehouse,inhaling particles from MDF(with shellac and cyanogens) 10 hours a day,and hating my life....I was finally doing what I've always wanted to do...just exhausted,sick,nauseous,driving to little league games,and being late on the car payment and daycare.........AAAAHHHHGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
This subutex stuff sounds like it will work...thanks for all the info.
Interesting note: I sought help from a counselor as recently as 18 months ago.He found it interesting that I had no withdrawal symptoms when I dropped valium from the menu....He said people have a harder time kicking that than anything else.....I've told the re-hab everything so I trust they know their stuff enough to not let me get too sick.
The rehab I chose is about 7 hours away.....I thought about detoxing close to home,but I figured the farther away I am,the less likely I am to give up if I have a bad day.....My insurance co. isn't happy about it but oh well....
Thanks you guys and gals...it's good knowing I'm not so alone
Baseball65





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