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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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How are you doing?Have you started your detox?
I wanted to respond to your post-because this is something i understand very well.Although-my story is about when the kids become young adults.
When my son-turned 12/13-this also coincided w/ our band dissolving-my husband and i were bored and lonely-we spent most of our time w/ our boy-and the band basically was our job-We were signed to a major)-and rehersed/performed or were in the studio/daily-even more than the band-having our child-not interested in "hanging" w/ us-as he used to-really kicked off an empty nest it seemed we had no purpose-and lo/and behold-there were drugs to fill those empty hours-and take away the void-we were both fairly depressed-we really missed the boys presence-he was off w/ his buddies-skateboarding/playing music-and we found drugs-to ease the loss-and numb out.
Those years of "responsibility" gave us a purpose-and we really enjoyed him-but we only had one child-not a big family-but we were struggling financially-w/ our band-and working day jobs-(and my son has adhd/mood disorder/depression).
At the turn of the century-before the harrison act that made opiates illegal-50% of the population of women between the ages of 20-50 yrs old were addicted to the various opiates available as tinctures/cure-alls-including heroin and morphine..THE PARENTING YEARS_and that includes a large number of men-but i agree-there is a correlation between these years of child rearing/and addiction-most of us here are parents-and fall in this age group-and the stresses/changes that we experience during thease years w/ our kids/relationships/careers-add on that need to chill...
The good news-is that when you do stop using-that is when you start reconnecting w/ your spiritual side/your children you will deal w/ regardless-you won't be a "bad parent"-as you start reconnecting w/ life-you will feel/experience them as they really are-and vice versa.
When i came off drugs in june 2000-my son was 15 yrs old-and it was tough-cos i was depressed but had to keep up w/ daily living-job/cleaning/cooking/parenting-but i know one thing-he needed me-and i was "really' there-and when it got rough for him at school-i was able to have it together-and he made it through-if i was still getting high-i may have acted differantly-my addiction was kept secret for those years-and when i came clean to my family-they turned against me-I was the black sheep anyway-i never told my son-because i felt like it may have inspired him to try it-around the same time-a close friend of his(18 yrs old) died of a heroin/benzo overdose-he was horrified-and became very anti-hard drug-hes a musician too-and the kids are really into the pills/dope now-thankfully hes stayed away-watching his last band dissolve due to heroin addiction.
Sorry for the rant-i guess what im saying-is your kids are going to appreciate your being there for them -physically/emotionally/spiritually-and you will also be able to really feel..really love...try to keep your crabbiness to a minimum :cool: -i had to put my emotions/craziness-aside when i was around my son-i felt like why should he have to deal w/ my insanity-and my poor husband was the recipient of my ups/downs..thank God-he could deal w/ it.-and i sought out therapy/drug counseling-etc..
I relapsed 2 years later for a short period-when in therapy i came to some really tough spots-but decieded to nix the drugs and started suboxone maintainence.
Its helped-and im now weaning off this med-my addiction was over an eight year period-on/off-and the dr. felt like i should be treated for addiction as well as depression.
Im just coming back to life again-its been 9 months since i used drugs-this will be a life-long struggle for me-each day i pray and thank Goddess for another day of not using.
And-music is coming back to me-i play everyday again-and i got a few new ideas-just the loss of music in my life-is very painful-its like breathing..i need to create to live..and the drugs sucked that dry too.
I know you understand all this-cos you are a musician-obviously-talented/by the people you were playing with-and all this can come back in your life-but the drugs will always bring you down...
Its time to Rock!!!You can do this!
Please let me know -how you are doing-and you can always use this place to vent and work stuff out-there are so many caring people here-w/alot of good insights and info.

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