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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

:wave: I'm so glad you both wrote... I don't have kids this weekend so I actually have some time :-)
Goddessgirl - you describe Sub so beautifully that it's amazing. I can relate to every single word that you say.... EXCEPT - you said 'when I think about using' and honesty, I really don't think about it. Otherwise, everything else is exactly the same. EVERYTHING!! Now... this weight situation is getting on my nerves. My doctor gave me diet pills and they worked for the first month but it was Meridia and it worked on Seratonin... well, not a good mix for me. I think that's why Wellbutrin has done so well for my depression... but when I took Meridia...I had to bump my ad up to 300 mgs... anyway, after a month, it stopped working and my appetite was back, full force.

When I went back to my doc to discuss this, he told me to double up!! So I tried but absolutely could not. I started crying again and the depression was coming back. Not only that, but the dosage he told me to take was twice the daily recommended dosage.... So... I went to my primary doc and he gave me the old fashioned diet pill that I don't even want to list here because people will bombard me with warnings... which I already know. Thing is, I don't enjoy the hyper feeling they give me so I know I will NEVER get addicted to them.. I mean, today is only my second day to take it but it just makes me run around like a chicken with their heads cut off. (don't know if that's a southern phrase or if I just grossed everyone out lol). Anyway... my primary knows everything about me (he's the first doc I confessed to) and he knows to keep a very close eye on me... but I went in last week with an eye infection and I was up to 164... that's only about 10 lbs away from when I was 9 mos pregnant and in the hospital giving birth to my three kids. But I screwed up ---- When i first went on Meridia.... I just stopped eating. Everyone warned me saying I would balloon when I started eating again. I said no way, this is how I've always lost a few lbs here and there. Well, WRONG! So I'm not making that same mistake this time. I'm exercising and eating something small, even if I have no appetite.

Anyway, Lynn... your dosage is still small... compared to others. But I would strongly recommend you going... however, these side effects to Sub are pretty strong, weight gain, sleepiness when sitting, lying still, water retention, etc. But so far, it's all been worth it. And since I've been on Wellbutrin, the sleepiness isn't as bad as when I was taking lexepro along with it. I would not hesitate if I were you to not walk but RUN to a Sub doc, just to talk to him/her and see what they have to say. Seriously, you really are not taking a lot... you could stop... and trust me, I know that feeling that you describe of being so depressed... except mine comes out as though I feel like I am completely out of control and like I'm simply going crazy. It's scary... But the Sub has helped. However, if you put anything in my mouth that messes w/Seratonin, I'm crying non stop again all of the time. Why is that, you think?

Got a story for you and want your opinions... had a great 'guy' friend and he was dating someone.... he told me she 'used to be an addict' (he did NOT know about me at this point, but DID know about my mother's overdose) so he knew I was experienced with addiction. He wasn't concerned... even though she would go out w/her friends (she's very young) and he would receive calls at 5:00 a.m. with her messed up driving home. He would beg her to call him if she needed a ride. She started 'missing dates' with him because she was choosing to get messed up rather than seeing him. He told her several times that he wasn't going to go out w/her anymore if she did it again and to my knowledge, she hasn't. HOWEVER.... on two different occasions, she brought over oxy and they BOTH snorted it (he smokes some pot and drinks but normally does not do anything like this) and then a few weekends later, he tells me that they spent some time w/her friends and that they did coke.

Prior to the 'coke' incident, I told him my entire story and yet he continued to see this girl and not only condone her usage, but use himself. It's as if he doesn't want to lose her... OR... he has a problem too. I had to tell him after talking until I was blue in the face that he had to put his foot down and give her an ultimatum, or she would just spiral back to where she was. (At 17 or 18 she was addicted to oxy and went into rehab, but left early.. dont know why). I said if you care about her... you've GOT to do this... but he didn't and I actually changed my username and came on here and told this story and asked you guys the question - can an addict use socially... I sent him the link, told him to read it (of course, I had tons of responses saying NO WAY!!! Once an addict, always an addict) which i knew already. But I thought if he wouldn't listen to me, he would if he saw you guys say it. It didn't phase him. In fact, he made a joke about my username instead of saying anything about the responses....

I told him that he wasn't the person that I thought he was and that I couldn't be friends w/him any longer... we haven't talked in a while now... Did I do the right thing? I couldn't stand being on the sidelines, watching either her or both of them go down hill. I just couldn't do it. I also realized that he told me that if he had pot, he would smoke it daily, but if he didn't have it... it wasn't a big deal. This makes me think even more that he was escaping, himself.

After watching my mother, and myself with addiction.... I just couldn't do it. Now, if he wanted my advice and help, it would have been different. But he didn't... whatcha' think? I'm sad that he's no longer my friend... and i'm even more sad that things are going to get really bad with them.

Anyway, so Theo had YOU trained for a while, huh? I actually got a new kitten... looking back, it was guilt feelings for my kids changing schools and I bought him just two days before school... told the kids that if they were sad or whatever, to think about the new kitten. But we all love him dearly,.... so freakin' sweet! Also, my three year old cat was so lonely, at least I think. I still keep them seperated because my 3 year old tends to be aggressive... anyway, the kids are doing GREAT! They are making friends and have met some that live here in our apartments... this is really good news!!

Well, this is long enough... I'm going to try and go to church (if I can make it on time) and then I'm going into work for a while. I'm still not doing well with my ADD... I wish Rosie could come here and tell us how she is. I also want to know about the Strattera... I'm hoping this new diet med will help since i've heard that Rittalin, Adderal are alot alike this med??? K- take care and thank you for filling me in. You told us a long time ago where you were on your meds and it sounds as if you are around the same. Which is good... normally it escalates like there's no tomorrow. Better run, you guys take care! :wave:

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