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Hi everyone. I've been lurking around on here for some time now , reading tons of people who sound just like I do. Who have an addiction problem to this drug just like I do. I'm 27 years old , live with a great , great, wonderful girlfriend of mine whom I plan to marry, and have a wonderful family as well.
I have always been a little hyper growing up - The first time I was introduced to this line of drugs was back in high school and it just made me feel so nice. I was relaxed and things seemed great. Don't have to go into too much detail on that feeling - all of you know exactly what I mean.
Basically , without boring everyone - I am at the point now where for the past couple years I've had two big run in's with Hydro. Back in 2002 for about a month or so I was taking several 10/325's a day. Experienced pretty bad W/D's actually from that , and admitted to my wonderful girlfriend the issue. She was very supportive, although very dissapointed as well.
I am in a much worse situation now, as I've relapsed a few months ago , and have been on 6 to 8 "7.5/325's" a day now.
I was reading another member's post about a script running out, and suffering through a couple days of WD's , until your next fill. This has been my case, as it is today. I know this WD feeling too well now - and I hate it so much. I am always on the verge of crying, and I do. I think about how no one around me knows what I'm doing, and how hurt that would be if they did know. I think about all the wonderful things I have in my life, and had before any of this started. It's so difficult for me to kick this habit for some reason, and I have seen firsthand how it can affect your personal relationships, affect your career/work - it's just crazy. It's really actually amazing what the drug does to you , and how your body responds in the WD state.

I guess I've probably read plenty to know what to expect - but I just think maybe sometimes it is good to get this out to people. Maybe, at some point, hopefully very very very soon , it will sink in that I have to stop this before it gets worse and worse.

-Jeff
:confused:
You have just made the first and hardest step into recovery. It is good that you feel comfortable enough to have shared your story with the people here. I am happy to welcome to the board,and I hope you will get the same love and support that I have felt from the people on here. Hang in there...One step at a time. :)
Welcome aboard. I have been doing what you story described for the last eight years. I have had 5 shoulder procedures, and 1 total reconstruction. Your story mimicks just about 3/4 of the people in our little family here. Some take more, some less. Everyone here will give lots of support, and some good advice. My advice is, set your mind to quitting, pick a week where you have no plans, and where you can get away with being a sick miserable S.O.B. Go cold turkey if you can. People here have done it EG. Lisa. It takes alot of will power, which I dont have. Good Luck-Talk to you soon.
Jeff,
Hey how are you? I messed up...I couldn't make it...I absolutely hate puking and I knew on day 2 I was going to ...I was too emotional and that made me sick...and I had diarhea bad..(sorry) I hope you'll make it....I guess I'll take just enough from getting sick...that is a BIG time deterrent for me...I don't care about the buzz anymore...it always just takes more and more if that's what your looking for which is why we're all here....but now I know how sick I can get trying to do it myself at home.....I can't take that...I hope others can I hope you can....some people don't mind barfing I guess as bad as I do..but I guess I'd rather be dead than that...if I ruined myself and ended up needing a new body part and was gonna die I'd just get right with the Lord and go on....I hate throwing up that much...and I have responcibilities that I can not let go...2 people to care for and look after....I can't be sick, and the emmense stress from that got me here...hopefully my day will come when I can get help with having that hang over me and not worry about what my mother thinks or hubby....I hope you make it!! Let us know...I caved this day which is day 2...but now I know what I have to go thru...I WILL control it and take just enough to keep from getting sick.
Thanks everyone for the replies....
Unfourtunately, I knew this was coming, my refill was on the way. I am in it again now. I agree, Bo, it's overwhelming lots of the times when you feel that bad. If you know there's something that will make you feel better, then why not? Well - it's obvious WHY NOT ...

Listen, I know this can be done.
Last year , after my bout with Hydro, I DID STOP CT, did go through WD's for just under 1 week, but seriously, after that, I WAS FINE! Yeah I'd think about it now and then , but it can be done.. And what people say on here is not false, you DO feel better and better everday. Your body will adjust in due time- a lot of folks just have issues with the Mental side of things. It's a true addiction and it's sad. It's too bad we have to go through it...

The one thing that I really really hope , and trust will HAVE to happen - Is that people like yourself, all the other good decent folks on this board, and ME , STOP this habit before it's too late and we really screw up some things in our lives... I know a good amount of folks on here have already said this HAS happened to them. I don't want it to get that far. Don't feel so bad about the fact that you went 1 or 2 days, and relapsed. Let's think about setting a goal , a realistic goal. You need to tell yourself when you REALLY ABSOLUTELY must quit these things, and you'd be surprised how easy it is. Obviously, we're just not ready yet.
:rolleyes:
Hi Jeff.. it's nice that you have taken the first step to recovery... I have been on the girlfriend's side of all of this and you need to be honest with her believe me she might surprise you.... don't go through withdrawl without explaining it to her and getting her to help... it's going to be very ugly if you choose cold turkey...and you will need help... it is not recommended by the medical profession but a drug called clorazapate which is an anti-anxiety may help with the symtoms they use it in alcohol withdrawl and I have had addicts tell me it helps... talk to your Doctor they may perscribe it... I have talked to alot of recovering morphine, codone, addicts and they were able to stay on a path Good luck and let us know how it turns out....
Hi Jeff,

Hydro is what I am detoxing from at home right now and yeah it is not fun. It can be challenging to stay off of them too. But you can do it. The great lie is that you need them or that the wd's are going to be "awful." I am not a doctor but the wd's will not kill you. Lots of water and immodium and some excersise will see you through them. Also you may want to tell your doctor about it. Your doc may want you to taper down to only two to three a day before you quit. Or he may want to put you on a clonidine patch for a few days that will definately help you with the wd's for a few days. You will be tired but it will help. Give your doc a call and tell him or her the truth. Doctors will surprise you and be very understanding.
Hey everyone - I'm hanging in there too ... Well , you know - As best as I can ... Put it this way , I have been thinking much more lately than ever before about this - and I am starting to feel like I am going to make a difference soon..


I do remember a long time ago , when I had WD's , coming off of Hydro , I had some valium , basically to help me sleep at night, and maybe once during the day to calm me down a bit. I remember it helped me through the WD's quite a bit - the sleeping is the most important in my opinion. I am trying to plan it out this time , to make it a little more comfortable.. get a small amount of Valium from the DR. - be up front about what's going on. I don't know - I feel like I'm starting to see the light at the end of this ****... I'm just about through with it-- and whoever it was on here that had that post about being "MAD" at the pills, looking at it as a FIGHT.. not a bad idea! There's no reason to give them any respect - they don't deserve it!!!

I will keep all posted - I am hoping to come down from this very soon and get my life back together ...

Currently at 4 to 6 7.5/350's a day , plus 2 5/500's....

P.S> - BOAZ - I haven't gotten to the point of throwing up during WD's .. And everytime for me has pretty much been CT... only the "Runs" , and restless leg, etc.... body feels like hell ... depression, crying, .. all that great stuff....
Jeff.....hang in there and stay strong on your taper plan. Tapering DOES work if you have extreme will-power. You gotta tell your girlfriend, she is gonna notice you are ill anyway., I have straightened my act out under the most extreme situations. 4 kids running amuck, an angry husband, etc. I just plain got determined and HATE anything controlling me, especially a stupid pill. I am still hanging in there. Heading up to 2 months opiate-free at the end of the week :) It seems so much longer than that!!!! You seem strong -willed like i am. Keep to your plan, i would go c/t at about 1-2 pills a day, it is tolerable!!! Valium will definitely help with anxiety and sleep, just use it for a week or so and then dump them....going to the Dr. and being honest with him sounds like a good idea too!!! I can help with any questions you might have....i have been battling this demon for a couple of years now. Hang in there.
luv,
LISA
Boaz,

People should not advise "cold turkey" as you need medical help and support through the DT's (withdrawals). I have gone cold turkey on several occasions too. Some have been successul, and some I last two days. Just knowing there is a pill that can stop all the barfing, pooping, etc. will drive me to find them again.

About 90 days ago, I had an insurance change which made me switch psychiatrists. Thank God. As this new doctor is a specialist in addiction. I never would have found here if not forced to change docs due to insurance. Anyway, she prescribed Suboxone which really truly helps with the mental and physical cravings of the hydrocodone. I never would have thought it possible for me as I had resolved the fact that I was going to die from this addiction. I knew my tombstone would read, "Here lies a junkie" Died from being stupid and unwilling to find a meaningful life without the use of drugs."

Boy was I wrong. I have been clean 90 days now. Never before did I believe this was possible. I know I sould like an infomercial but it is true. Find a doctor in your area or go to where ever the nearest doc is. You would go this far for the "other" pills, right? And while this doc is a little more expensive, I am spending far less than I was while taking those little blue devil pills. (I was taking 30 to 40 10/500's a day). I would sometimes take the 10/650's and knew I was killing my liver with the extra acetaminophen, but I liked the extra buzz I got from them.

I have not really been successful in weining myself as once I had that drug in my system I wanted more and more. But I would run out and be forced to go cold turkey for a day or two before my supplier could get them to me. I knew there was no need to check into detox because as soon as they would come in, I would be right back to the pills as I did not want to stop.

Good luck. Just knowing there is hope out there may give you the strength to seek it. I have read so much about Suboxone and have yet to read one negative thing about it. I have researched it in medical journals and articles as well as read the healthboards like this one. I have not heard of one person who took it and went back. The soboxone may be your ticket. Please check it out and soon! There is no time like the present.

And a side note: You must be in active withdrawal to start on the suboxone but only like 12 to 24 hours. I took my last one at midnight, saw the doc at ten the next moring and believe me, I was in active DT's. I had to search out a pharmacy in my area that even knew what suboxone was let alone have it it stock. But I was feeling so crappy that I kept calling until I found one. (Most pharmacys have to order it and that can take a day to get in and one day in DT's is too long.) Suboxone has to be dissolved under the tounge (it doesn't taste bad). Anyway, I got my Rx filled, immediately dissolved one, and by time I got out of the pharmacy parking lot, the withdrawals stopped. It is that easy and what a life saver! Good luck!
Boaz,

Good to hear - sounds like you're doing real well... And the tapering seems to be going well .. If you can keep that going , you should be in a good place real soon.... I don't have a plan set in stone yet - but I am going to conquer it soon.. I haven't felt this way about it all ever before -- I've never wanted to quit like this ... I've always just been "fine" doing them - so I feel a big change already ... It's a matter of trying to make it as painless as possible, although I know it's not possible... I almost feel that I deserve some of the discomfort that comes along with the WD's....

I can't wait to feel so good, just being drug free - and not having to worry about all this ****... Soon enough , soon enough...


Currenty = 4 to 6 7.5's/325 , plus 2 5's/500....
Didn't the originator of this thread say they had a girlfriend who is in the dark?

I am coming up on day 8 with no Lortab due to running out and let me say - my fiance has been a lifesaver. I can talk openly and freely with him about the withdrawals and how my brain is operating while going through them. He listens attentively (a rare male characteristic that first attracted me to him ;) ) and offers a shoulder to cry on and a kind word.

In the past I've had boyfriends who have dumped me after going through some bad times so I have a deep-rooted paranoia that I will also lose him while going through this stupid and petty pill addiction. It's only through joking and making light of the whole situation that I realize I have a friend and mate who's here to stay.
Relationships are about honesty and communication and they are the most important factors, I think, when going through something like this. Tell your girl. It's MUCH easier when you're not alone.
[FONT=Arial Narrow][SIZE=2][COLOR=Indigo]Jeff,
There is some good news and bad news for you. The good news is that yes you're right, it could be much much worse, and you're smart to have the presence of mind to get started on kicking this now.

The other 'good' news, depending on how you look at it, is that you most definitely need professional help kicking this addiction. Very few, and I mean VERY few people can stay clean by themselves, even when they have made it past the first couple of weeks of the worst withdrawal symptoms. The reason I say 'good news', is that with a counselor you can get to the bottom of why you want/need this drug in your life, and tackle those psychological issues which are the reasons you began using in the first place, and the most likely reason you would start using again. You will be a better, happier person through counseling, and learn much about yourself in the process - this is why I say it's good news for you.

I don't want to forget to mention attending AA or NA meetings - also a potent tool for living drug-free, though I think it depends on the person and finding the right meeting that best suits you.

Speaking of odd - it's amazing to me that with over 20 posts and 1000 views of this thread, NOBODY here had yet recommended Jeff seek longer term professional psychological advice from a drug/addiction therapist...this is so crucial to getting and staying drug-free.

Be HONEST with yourself - You have already tried this on your own and it didn't work, right? You have nothing to lose by seeking professional help. You may be able to do this on your own, but your recovery is so important, for you mostly but also for those precious people in your life. You want to give yourself the best possible odds.

Lastly, regarding the suboxone..as great as it is for very serious addicts [Just meaning folks taking 2-3 times what you were, such as myself], consider this a last resort, and only after discussing it with your counselor and doing your own research. It's a wonderful tool for helping us to learn to live without the daily 'buzz', but ultimately you will have another addiction to overcome and taper from. This part is non-negotiable - it WILL be a struggle to then get suboxone out of your life.

Oh right...the bad news. We all have to suffer the punishment of physical withdrawal symptoms. There are many good tips on the board for helping with these, but ultimately [As you have experienced] you're just going to feel like crap for a while.

Good luck Jeff. Keep on posting![/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
Octomon


Thx so much the the reply.. I really really apreciate it , and it's helping me like you wouldn't believe get through everything.
I received my refill early this afternoon, and promptly went to a garbage dumpster and threw EVERY PILL away... Don't worry, I won't be crawling in the dumpster looking for anything. It hasn't felt this good in a long time to do something so RIGHT. I feel great about it - and it wasn't even difficult for me to do.

I have 5mg Valium from my DOC to help me sleep at night. I plan on just using it for another few days, then hopefully I'll be fine to go to bed on my own. I'm just trying as hard as I can to keep myself busy. Your mind goes in so many directions during W/D's. It's just no fun AT ALL.

I know many would disagree, but I just cannot include my family and significant other in on this. They were aware of the run in I had with this drug a year and a half ago - and it was a very very distressing time for all of us. I don't want to put them through that again. I'm just hoping that the major W/D symptoms can subside sooner than later, and I will just put this all behind me....

Good suggestion by the way - I hadn't thought too much about professional help. I don't know how I'd work that in. I just don't know. I'm not closed to that idea though...


Please everyone, continue to reply and post... It is really helping me out a lot.
Hey everyone!

Today is DAY 3.
Just waking up - may go back to bed , I'm not sure.
Just wanted to check in... I'll be home today, in and out I'm sure.

Check in with me, I'd love to hear from you guys....
[QUOTE=jeffhurtinaz]Hey everyone!

Today is DAY 3.
Just waking up - may go back to bed , I'm not sure.
Just wanted to check in... I'll be home today, in and out I'm sure.

Check in with me, I'd love to hear from you guys....[/QUOTE]


I was the same way. I want to sleep more than remaining active. I know that it is not easy feeling crappy all the time (the nausea, vomiting, runs etc).
Thx for writing Vanguard...
Hey everybody.

Today is DAY 4... I feel good enough to be at work , so here I am.
The sleep is very important , and thank god I've actually been getting a good amount of it. Although, I found yesterday to be a good day because I kept myself busy all day. I find myself getting more depressed , etc just sitting around the house all day... It was good to get out, be around people - it helps a lot....

I'm drinking a lot of water (I usually do anyways) , went to exercise a bit, and went into our Steam Room... all these things help a bit. Nothing will cure W/d symptoms, but you can calm them down a little with these various methods.

I'm feeling better - and hopefully it just keeps getting better. It's really an awesome feeling to know I'm not wasting away my money, to know I'm not hiding anything from the ones I love... It's just nice... You guys should try it out.. These boards are very supportive... When you're going through that hell of W/D , just stick with it... You have to remember, it's a short lived process, you do get better, just stick with it! It's worth it! You are SAVING your life!


Write back people - would be great to hear from you all...

-Jeff-
Hi everyone! i was reading this forum and i have afew questions for anyone out there. Here is my situation. Had tonsillectomy on the dec 8th, started bleeding again 8 days later so had them recauterized...so up until yesterday was on oxy and hydrocodone for 20 days .. i think in all i took (20) 20 mg Oxycontins; (2) 350mg bottles of oxycodone liqid; and (3) 350 bottles of lortab (hydrocodone). mmm what fun :) a little history on me i have been a pretty big partier (durgs, alcohol) since high school and threw college .. untill recently i only socially drink.

What i took:
-8th: My 1st sugery (1) lortab hydrocodone
-9th:called and got stronger prescription for pain (1) roxicet(sp?) oxycodone
-10th started bleeding a litte saw on call doc and he prescribed (20) 20 mg oxycontin.
*** at this point in feeling good :) *** not a thought of the pain to come last night***

-15th rushed to emergency room do to bleeding (was coming out like a faucet) i seriously thought i was going to die... never knew you could lose that much blood! without needing a transfer. (nurses at hospital gave me morphine for a few times and a few pills of hydrocodone for the pain)
-Hospital give me prescription for 2nd bottle of lortab.
-by this time ive finished all of that pain med dished out above.

-20th see doc and says throat looks better satay home for 5 more days... gives me prescription for lortab again with refill.

-Not working as well as oxycodone so i get prescription again from doctor for 2nd bottle of roxicet oxycodone.

-upon running out above i use a previous refill from first sugery. and drink that up untill 1 dose yesterday morning.

So at this point yesterday morning (20) 20MG oxycontin, (2) bottles of oxycodone, (3) lortab hydrocodone. a few pills and morphine at the doctors.

I started to kinda feel some withdrawl when i ran out of the oxycodone around 22nd. and actually this morning ive come to realize that (being the first day with nothing) i am having some serious withdrawl symptoms ... last night i even took a sleeping pill and didn't sleep at all.

The good thing is that i haven't smoked in about a month now but now im pretty addicted to this codone.

My question is this how long should i expect withdrawl given the amout i took in 20 days.

Also i have gone through nic withdrawls in past (previous attempts at quitting smoking) that were pretty horrible... is this going to be worse?

Lastly, when i was younger my father had an addiction to this stuff had to go into a 30 day treatment program (granted he was using for longer time) should i be able to CT this.

Oh and by the way that last prescription with refill for the lortab i ripped up and threw out yesterday as well.
Tearing up that script was the best thing you could possibly have done. If you didn't have any significant "codone" use prior to this surgery I wouldn't think you would have that big a problem with W/D your major problem will be to not start taking them for the wrong reason. I've read where substance abuse is inherited so look at the odds against you. Fight with all your might any feelings to continue taking them..........it's a downhill road and the climb back sucks MAJOR.
If you are having that much trouble with W/D's tough it out take my word for it you'll be glad you did.
Keep posting, there are some really great people here who can give you info and support and right now those are the best things in the world.
Good Luck
Marilyn
Hey jim....i know that no sleep is the worst for me. I have kids running amuck here and trying to deal with them on no sleep = bad news!!!!
I never took anything for sleep. I just waited it out. At that point i was sick of pills, ANY pills, and just wanted my sleep to be restored natuarally. I used to do stuff in the middle of the night too. Crafts, reading magazines, addiction books, laundry, i was a nut-case LOL
You have taken a large amount of opiates in the past few weeks here. I think the runs were definitely oxycodone and or oxycontin w/d. That is one of my first signals that w/d has started....
So keep hanging in there, and NO DUMPSTER searching today LOL LOL
I SO could see myself throwing them out in the dumpster, then later jumping in the retrieve them LOL LOL LOL you guys gave me a good chuckle over that one!
I hope your pain level has decreased. Be strong and let me know how your day goes. Take a nap, eat well, take vitamins and give it some more time.
Hang in there!
luv,
LISA
Hey lisa!

Well actually besides a few chills hear and there and the sleep thing i think i might have this thing beat. I think i hid the worst of the withdrawls with the remaining hydro.

If i wanted to i probably could get some more .. but i think my willpower is defiantly stronger than in my past. Actually after wrting my previous message last night .. i tried laying down around 4:00 and i finally got about 4 hours of sleep .. i was an hour and a half late for work but it was well worth it to get some much needed sleep .. so i got about 6-8 hours of sleep yesterday and i feel a lot better! no headache, or cramping really, i still feel like it might be a little difficult to sleep tongiht .. so if i need to ill try to use a sleeping pill.

also i have decided not to get anymore pills, i have three of the sleeping pills left and ill use them up if needed. I really dont want to get hooked on anything else .. i too and looking for normal sleeping and living.

Did anyone feel good on the second day you went CT? did i hide most WD symptoms with the week on the remaining hydro. Could i still have more horrible pain to come .. from what i know about DT with CT is that sympotoms usually are strong and increase to a point and start tapering off? Im just suprised how much better i feel from yesterday to today ...

Im looking forward to NY's ill prbably go out and have some drinks and socialize (been about month) im thinking i should be back to normal with everything by beginning of next week!


Lisa, how much did you take of what and how long were you on it? how long has it been since you stopped? How long has/did the insomnia last?


Thanks for the help everyone. Im hoping that this thing is almost over with!

-jim
Insomnia is the last thing to go. Sooner for some, later for others. Just know that insomnia can't kill you. You'll eventually get some sleep. Don't look to benzos to help with sleep....you'll be digging another hole. So far, so good. Good job.
Listen Jim, getting back to sleep is one of the last parts of physical withdrawls, but my friend if you are using any amounts of opiates to help it is not over. The majority of physical torment is! But your body will still not feel the same with no opiates because your body will still be releasing the drug slowly over time, trust me even booze won't help although I always gave it a try, but truthfully hangovers make a horrible temtation to buy some pills. Your body and mind have to get over the opiates, I hate to recomend other drugs but may people have found relief with ambiem, SMALL amounts of ultram... other non-narcotic drugs can help, and many are addictive themselves. Personally I took 10 ultram trying to get over oxy and dropped and had a siezure at work!! Too much tylenol at once WILL kill you or put you right into a coma, good luck my friend,
Dave.
ok maybe a little back ground.........have been taking these devil pills for several years. up to about 15 10/325's a day lately. for the last couple of months or so,daily. i am through. will do it ct but was just hoping you guys maybe could help with the wd's. my faith in God will see me through this i know. one day at a time.
Jeff,
Hello! I remember you from a LONG time ago.... If you can stop and stay stopped... your not one of us.. if you can't.. well.. you are the only one who can say you are a addict. I am, and have been forever... but only realized how it was controlling my life a year ago. (I have almost 10 months with no drugs or alcohol) I feel like a completely different person- I was disconnected from the world and denied it... for the tiny HIGH I got from hydros. I have learned there is no MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SOLUTION... if you want to get clean and stay that way for the rest of your life one day at a time.. you cannot ever put anything mind altering in your body again. No beer, no valumm, no ambien, no tylenol pm... all those things will trigger the disease... and once that happens... its gonna get way worse and the guilt and ache will not go away unless you DO more... there is only one way to stop and stop... and thats to get honest with God, and then get honest with another about your intermost feelings. Work the steps... make ammends and pray and meditate each day. I was never a alcoholic... but AA works for me. Have you tried any AA meetings? Try one... everyday for one week. I PROMISE you will hear things you dont want to learn about yourself, but you will find loving people who are going through the same thing as you and are willing to listen. Jeff, the best of happiness to you.... I will be here if you want to talk... I promise... real happiness is right in front of you.. you might have to walk through hell to get there.. but once your there... the feeling is as addicting as hydros BUT EVEN GREATER!
Love,
Sara
good morning all.........today is day two. life is a little better. w/d's not to awfully bad.Sara you are absolutely right about being honest with God and ourselves. that for me was the first step in realizing that it was a problem. before then it was just something i did. no problem. now i realize just how big a problem it is. let me re-phrase.......how big a problem it WAS !!!! with the help of GOD and this board i will make it through this thing no question. thanks for the support of this board. may God richly bless us all.
For the last 10 years I don't think I've gone more than 8 hours without taking vicodin. I was up to 25-30 7.5 a day. I tapered with help and quit on fathers day. Tomorrow will be 30 days. The first 3-4 days were really bad. The second week was a little better. The 3rd week was so much better and now I can honestly say I feel better than I have in 10 years. Life is so much better for me. For all of you out there going through w/ds, just know it will get better. So much better. Its probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do but then again nothing worth while comes easy. To all of you who have supported me I thank you. God bless you all.

Frank
hey how u doing? i have been where ur 2 day iz my 5th day going thru with drawl am logged on under my wife name call me Quinn i feel like crap but my spirit getting strong i was doing 20 hydros a day ( 3 tym relapse i decided 2 go 2 wht thy call a methadone clinic 4 help thy helped n lied . thy replaced my addiction wth another 4 2 years told me at 1st few months thn thy start bringn me off it slowly so i wont have wth draw. 2 yrs gone by n thy still didnt so my wife n i started 2 taper the medication, well gess whgt am paying my dues now ,the wth drawl is horrible but am managing,i gess wght am trying to say iz ither be honest wth ur doc so he can taper ur meds 4 u r chech out a local methadone clinic cheaper n safer 4 now, but dont lt thm bs u about a 3-5 year plan there in it 4 the money ussually cost about a 100.oo bucks a week wil help a lot u will hardly experince any wth draw none whn on it,but b verrrrry careful do ths only 4 about 2-3 months thn demand to start havinv thm bring it down dont let thn bs u about years if u trul loook into it long term it will destroy u lik it alomost did 2 me i had a job makin over 150,ooo a year fired after 5 years just filed bankrubty yesterday,so methodne will help only if u use short tym god bless n good luck cause there isnt hardly any help out there 4 ths addiction unless ur verrrry wealthy r dam good insurance peacez
[QUOTE=deerme]Welcome aboard. I have been doing what you story described for the last eight years. I have had 5 shoulder procedures, and 1 total reconstruction. Your story mimicks just about 3/4 of the people in our little family here. Some take more, some less. Everyone here will give lots of support, and some good advice. My advice is, set your mind to quitting, pick a week where you have no plans, and where you can get away with being a sick miserable S.O.B. Go cold turkey if you can. People here have done it EG. Lisa. It takes alot of will power, which I dont have. Good Luck-Talk to you soon.[/QUOTE]
I am in a very same, but different, situation. To make a long story short - 39 yr old mother married to a great guy for 11 yrs and 3 incredible children 10, 8 and 2. Beautiful house, etc. I just was diagnosed with ADD and started adderall - thought it would "save" me from my life long "pshco" feelings. I started hydros about 3 months ago. DT's from hell. Fell and started them again. Was taking 8 a day of 10/500 or whatever I could afford - so expensive online!! Starting mixing with Soma and Benadryl or Tylenol allergy. I have not taken any in a week. I feel over my DT's. So why do I still feel so HORRIBLE mentally? I am a wreck.

Also - I have a hard time justifying quitting - other than the money. If it makes me a better wife and mother and person (and I swear it does) why should I quit? I want to start again so badly it hurts. I know they are delivering some tomorrow - what can stop me? Why should it stop me? If it is the best I ever feel or have ever felt in my life....why should I quit?

By reading and seeing all these people trying to beat this "horrible" addiction - there must be a reason. Somebody please help me - I don't want to do this but I feel I will because I am such a better person with it.

My adderall is doing NOTHING and he upped my zoloft - doing nothing. I feel constantly agitated and annoyed and nervous. I know as soon as I take 2 V's I will be great. Why should I quit?
I only took vikes for about 3 months and was up to about 6-8 a day. will my wd's still be going on after a week? not sick or in pain anymore, just agitated and want to be alone and not be around my beautiful family. i am starting to think something is wrong with me? will i start feeling better?
Thom3,
Welcome to the world of hell if you continue taking vikes.... I, like you pushed everyone out of my life so that I could be alone to "enjoy" the vikes. After hitting bottom by not being happy on vikes and not being happy off.. I sought help. Honestly after hearing and reading every bad experience on this board... nothing can convince or will convince you to stop until you have hit your own personal bottom. The good news is that there is help for you if you want it... I have been not only hydro free- but helping others for the past few months. I havent taken my recovery lightly from the beginning- I mixed hydro with other pills like soma and ambien and it could have ended up really bad if I would not have have someone who was in recovery to show me the way, and what I needed to do to get well. I have two small children and they tell me all the time how different I am and that is how beautiful recovery can be... I know it will be scary for you to stop and not have the hydros to numb your feeling with- but having all your wits about you and helping others is a not only a way to survive but a way to live happy and heathly beyond your wildest dreams. You will just have to walk through some pain to get there. The other side is peaceful and promises a good hearted feeling you will not believe!
Love always, recovery rocks!

-Sara
i'm back - and it's been over a year - and I'm in the same situation.....
does anyone have experience with tramadol while going through w/d'S?
i have found that (2) 50mg tabs per day seems to take away all W/D's

i have much more to type - please forgive me , i've been at work for almost 12 hours.... will check back in soon.





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