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I am so worried about hearing the bad things this Suboxone withdrawal is causing people. I don't understand why a doctor will take you off of hydros only to suspend the withdrawals with Suboxone knowing the detox is far worse on Sub?

Fisherman-Why are you quiting the Suboxone? Are you tapering or cold turkeying it? I am just wondering because I have been off of hydro's for 90 days now after a 10 year strong addiction (30 to 40 hydro 10's a day). I am on 8mb of Suboxone, 4 mg in the morning and 4 mg in the evening. My doctor said I may be on Suboxone forever on a daily maintenance dose. Is this bad? What is wrong with a maintenance dose of Sub, like some people take meds everyday for a lifetime, such as diabetic meds, heart meds, etc. I am truly wondering. I am not being a smart ***, I am concerned. I think Sub is the miracle drug because it has stopped the mental cravings from the hydro so much. I have only been on Suboxone for 90 days now so I am no expert. I need to hear people's experience on this "miracle" drug. I need to know what to prepare for. I think it is important for a patient to be fully aware of the drugs she takes.

I find that some docs don't have a person's best interest in mind when she treats patients. Otherwise, why would some docs get people addicted to pain meds, benzo's, etc.? I know we take them, but I had a doc prescribe a 100 pain pills every three days for me for six months. After six months, she cut me off. She weined my off for about two weeks and then said, "No more." I never understood mental addiction. I knew physically I would get addicted, but I didn't know I would get mentally addicted. Hell, the doc knew I was good and addicted and commented about it on several occasions. One time she even said that she thought I was taking these pills more for mental pain due to a bad marriage than physical pain for which she was pescribing. She knew my ex and I personally as we were neighbors. She was aware of that as well as my family history of alcohol and drug abuse.

When she quit prescribing, I thought my body would just adjust after a few days to not having them. Well, it did I guess, but my brain went crazy. I didn't know how to act without the hydros in my system. That is when I started doc shopping. Then I figured I could cut the doctors out of the picture by writing my own prescriptions. I knew how to write them from the many previous scrips I had received. I also learned how to call them into the pharmacy. I worked at the major hospital in town so I had all the doc's DEA numbers in a file so if a pharmacist asked, I could tell him/her. I only had three ask in a five month period. But if you do anything long enough, you will eventually get caught.

This was the case for me. I had called in a prescription and went to pick it up. The DEA officer was there to pick me up instead. Actually, I was relieved when he flashed that badge at me because I thought, "Now I can finally stop." I hated doing this. I would shake like a leaf when I would pick them up wondering, is this when I am going to get busted? Then I would get them and say, "Wow that was easy." So I would do it over and over. But I had to. I took the whole bottle every day.

After I got busted, I hired an attorney who saw I got a program here called "The Drug Diversion Program". Basically, you have to go to rehab and see a court referral officer once a month for a year.

This didn't stop my criminal career though. After a few months, I figured what I had done wrong the last time I called them into the pharmacy and thought that I would be smarter this time. I started calling them in again. Pretty smart huh?

I did get caught-again! I went on to do it a third time. I figured after the third time (3 strikes you are out) my luck would run out so I never did it again. That was 1999 and I haven't called or written a fake scrip since then.

If you are interested, I can tell you what happend after the second and third times, but it is pretty crazy, and I don't want to bore everyone. So any one interested, I will tell you about it. I don't mind telling people about it so let me know.

Anyway, I just found other sources and have never been able to scrape any clean time under my belt. 60 days maybe, but not in a row. I even went to in patient rehab. I started taking them again a few months after I got out. SO this is why when I found Suboxone and the physical and mental cravings stopped, I thought I had found a miracle drug. I have had people to offer hydro's to me and can honestly say that I don't want them anymore. I am afraid, once I stop the Suboxone, I may not be able to say that. I don't want to go back to that way of living.

But what happens when the Suboxone ends? Am I cured? lol Do people who quit the Suboxone have a long time effect from it and be able to refuse the hydro's forever? I know this is just a pipe dream. I know addicts don't get cured. This is why I am afraid to stop the Suboxone. Isn't a life on Suboxone better than one on hydros? And why do I feel these are my only choices? I know lots of people who are drug free without other meds to help them stay clean. I don't feel I am one of those people. Staying clean has not been a reality for me in the past.

Also, my new doc also thinks I have ADHD and that it has been misdiagonsed due to the substance abuse. So she threw some Adderall into the mix. So now, I take 8 mgs of Suboxone a day and 20 mgs of Adderall. The Adderall seems to calm me down and has been able to help my concentration and mental fortitude. What do you guys think of this combination? I am getting leary of doctors. Some can make matters worse. But I don't have any experience with Adderall. I shared in an earlier message that I would take Ritalin to help with the hydro withdrawals. But that wasn't long term.

I guess I have gone on long enough. Some days I guess I just feel like sharing my experiences. Maybe this will help Fisherman get some sleep. Just read this post and it will put you to sleep better than any pill, warm milk, or a bad novel. lol

Thanks to everyone or anyone that replies.
Rebecca





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