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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Sharon,

How GREAT that you are doing so well on the Suboxone!!! It is so noticeable that those who take Suboxone after bad addictions, seem to recover without the awful lingering depressions (and of course the long-lasting cravings) that inevitably follow after going completely off drugs. And, while I [B]know[/B] this is due to the opiate receptors remaining satisfied by a different drug...still...what a heaven sent mercy to be able to take this first (and, for some, permanent?) step in finally getting the body and the brain off those killing opiatess....and to be given the greatest gift of all--a second chance--the "restoration" of a mind where people, places, laughter, love, imagination--just good old [I]emotions[/I]...matter again. :angel: These opiates have our heads so twisted around that we don't even realize how "dead" we've beome to [I]real[/I] emotions. So--I am really happy for you, Sharon!! :-)

And, I know, too well, that feeling of waking up in the morning, knowing that nothing will ease my despair or the physical pain of not enough opiates in my system...until I reach over for my pill box...so I can start my day. It is so very sick a way to live. As you may have read, from my past posts, it is up to me now to just make those calls from my doctor listings....and find a good and caring Suboxone doctor. Because I can get my oxys without asking doctors, or on-line pharmacies, or searching for those "on the street" who sell them...(my cousin, a legitimate pain-management patient, offers me the excess of her legitmately prescripted pain pills)..... it has become for me an issue of strength and determination to just say good-by to a life that has, in such a strange way, suited my more solitary-type personality. But, now...I no longer feel "good"--I am no longer socializing at all--or pursuing any of my former, more enjoyable more-creative side. I'm just kind of getting by. But at least I am no longer deluding myself. And, sharing this same problem with my twin makes it so much easier. But we both need to make that call to a Sub doctor. And because I've been so hesitant--and "cowardly"--I, quite honestly, don't even feel right coming to this Board very often anymore. I feel as if I have failed to take that life-saving step that so many of you have. (And, yet, it is people just like yourself and goddessgirl who have been instrumental in taking me those few steps further along the road...and reading the Board is the one thing that gives me heart that I CAN make that final step.) You have all been invaluable in teaching me about courage, setting goals, etc. And when I read posts like yours, the relief I feel is immeasurable! :) So thank you so much for writing with your update! :-)

Re. "The Dog Vs. The Blue Oxy 80." LOLOL!!! Oh gawd, your story just cracked me up. Your struggle with "man's best friend" is not the least beyond my imagination!!! It takes very [I]little[/I] imagination on my part to envision myself tackling my stocky, stubborn, little Lhasa, the two us growling and trying to out-psyche one another for the role of "Alpha" dog--and "keeper of the Oxy"! LOLOL!! :D I can also offer up a rather amusing tale of the day my company cafeteria's cashier, found my little battered tin pill box on the floor...and thinking it was "rubbish"--disposed of it as such!!! It couldn't have been more than 15 minutes, down in the office, when I realized I must have dropped it out of my bag, in the cafeteria. But, by that time, the wastebasket and been tossed into the larger disposal bin. Oh, nooooooo.....

However--after I went back...and told them it had my special pills in it (!!)--one of the cafeteria guys disappeared around the back...and ten minutes later re-emerged, wearing rubber gloves--and holding my little tin pill box!!! I could not believe it. This guy plunged into a giant vat of food parts and other lovely wastes--just to retrieve my box. Well! While I was so overwhelmed with gratitude...I thought to myself "Okay--now you've sunk to the depths!!! You've got people wallowing in GARBAGE to support your addiction!!!" That scene is one of the more potent that is eventually going to get me to pick up that phone!!! :eek:

Okay, just looked at my watch and I gotta go now, but just had to say how much I enjoyed reading your post!! Lynn :)





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