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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi I'm new to the boards and I just wanted to tell a little about myself. I'm pretty young, I'm only 14 (turning 15 this december 4th), and I'm having a real tough past few years. I felt as if I needed to register myself to a message board of some sort so that I can keep myself in tact with reality. I'm having a difficult time with that lately.
I smoke pot and I do the occasional mushrooms every now and then. I dont drink because of the alcoholism in my family and just my plain fear of alcoholics. My mom is recovering recently the past 6 or so months from an alcohol and narcotic relapse she had in the summer after the past 10 years of being sober.
Back in 7th grade I started using and experimenting with other drugs, such as narcotics and OTC pills. Last spring I fell into a complete relapse of narcotic abuse. I did hit rock bottom. I was failing school and for 3 months straight I stayed home, popped a bunch of barbituates and downers and tranquilizers, and slept from 6 in the morning to as late as 10 oclock at night all day without disturbance. The only way for me to deal with all of the **** that was going on with me and my family and what not, I felt was to sleep it all away. For me it was the next best thing to being dead and ridding of all of my pain and troubles.
Well eventually I unenrolled from school and partook in homeschooling, and I collected myself back together slowly but surely. But the first week of summer I was out with friends and was in a bad place at the wrong time and I ended up getting busted by the cops for dealing all of the narcotics I used to abuse. I had been dealing for a year before I started abusing them that fall. I sold oxycontin and downers and tranquilizers and all sorts of pills. I had over 65 pills in my possession when I got busted.

Well the summer went pretty smooth after that. I did a lot of mushrooms, smoked a lot of pot, and everything became happy. I was happy.
Now school started up again and its 4 weeks away from the end of the cemester and I'm failing. I'm also abusing ritalin. And occasionally I'll indulge in some vicodin.
But the ritalin, it's a new drug for me, I had never done it before just a month or so ago. But I quickly found out that I had become addicted.
It doesnt put me down like the other drugs, until I go without it for a short period of time and I get the worst withdrawals I've ever felt.
But the addiction hurts. I know I've lost control and I get sick when I think of being addicted again.

The way I treat my body, the added drugs such as the mushrooms and the ritalin, dont help. I've had several eating disorder evaluations done on me in hospitals because I have a really ********** up eating habit. Yes I do think I have an eating disorder, but the last thing I want to do is let the world know about that as well. I can control my eating issue now. But my immune system will nearly crash on me every now and then. I find myself at least once every 3 weeks waking up one morning keeling over the toilet and barely being able to walk and move and breathe even. One time I was even taken to the hospital and put on IV's. They didnt know what was wrong, they thought I was just dehydrated.

Well thats about all I have to say for the meantime. I hope to recieve help and possibly share my own advice on this board, I really need this to cope with everything right now. I've always turned to writing, any means of writing, as a coping skill of mine.

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