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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Well I read your story and it sounds kind of like me. I can't believe nobody has responded to your post but I will since I can relate. I started out taking vicodon 5mg here and there for headaches, back pain,etc. which then led to percocet 7.5 mg, after a car accident several years ago. Percocet turned into Methadone 10-20mg a day for 2 1/2 years and then I was off to Vicodin and Lortab 10/500. The difference between you and I is that I took them as prescribed for back pain. Then when I realized that 4 10mg pills a day were just to much for me to continue taking due to my back feeling a better, I began to wean myself down so I would have plenty left over for the month, maybe just knowing I had extra made me feel better who knows but that is what I did. I have been down the road of painful withdrawls and the fear of going through that HELL again just wasn't an option for me. Therefore, I NEVER ate them like candy even when I had them.I am not saying your addiction is any different than mine but I learned over time to limit myself to 10 mg a day. I would take a 5mg in the morning and the other half in the evening or when I really needed them for pain and not just that BUZZ feeling. I am 31 years old and have children too. I couldn't keep going through withdrawls and care for them they way I needed to. So I guess my only advice to you is if you can get yourself to the point of taking them when needed or just a very low dose then getting off them won't be as bad as if you were taking 10-20 pills a day. This is not for everybody as I know it is easier said than done. I have friends and know plenty of people that cannot control their pill intake when they have a bottle full. It's almost like I would tell myself all day long ok I have to wait another hour and just push that hour to another hour and just get through the day playing mind games with myself. What a horrible way to live huh? I wish I could give you better advice. I ended up getting pregnant July 2003 and I was on Lortab at the time. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant and quit smoking too. I guess if you put your mind to anything you CAN do it. I took 500 mg tylenol at night for the leg cramps and took vitamins and got through it. I now have a beautiful 7 month old daughter and it was worth quitting for me. I stopped taking percocet the same way 6 years ago when I got pregnant with my son. Then started taking percocet again right after I delivered him by c-section. What a stupid thing to do. I went through horrible withdrawls from taking methadone a coupke years ago and let me tell you I thought I would die. I tapered down to a piece of a pill and still thought I would die for weeks after.I can't imagaine their is a more painful and long withdrawl that that, maybe I am worng but for me it was. So my advice to you is the next time you have a bottle of 80 limit yourself to 2-4 a day for a week or so then 2-3 a day for a week and so on til your body requires less and less and then stopping altogether shouldn't be as bad for you as taking 20 pills a day and then going to 0. If I could do that at home alone without a detox program I know you can stop if you truely want this for yourself. At least be honest with your husband and maybe he can help you and support you in your decision. Maybe he will watch the kids while you go to a NA meeting a few times a week or whatever you feel you need. It is a hard and difficult process and only YOU can do it. If you want to talk more I will be happy to help you any way I know how. If you have a doctor maybe he can give you better advice or clonodine (catapress patches) to help you monitor your blood pressure, Quitting cold turkey from taking that many pills a day can be very dangerous and you should seek out some sort of medical advice. Best of Luck to you, Rachel

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