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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


It's Friday night live! Got two little one's in the bathtub, just got home from the toystore and picked up two board games; SORRY, and LIFE, and bought some Sea Monkeys! (Those of you who are old folks like me... know what Sea Monkeys are right?)

LYNN; I found a bunch of posts you sent me that are CLASSICS! I printed em b 4 I went to rehab so I could read them while I was there. I cried when I read em. Happy and sad tears.

Today Im fighting for my sobriey. I went to the back doctor at 8:00 am and they put the ultrasound machine on my back, and a moist heat pack on my back for 20 min. Im still hurting and taking ib 800 mg every 4 hours and 2 tylenol 1000 mg ever 4 hours.

DALLAS; Yes, you should be a little concerned. I dont do well with pain.... I had an idea which is pretty crazy.. I was thinking about the "I feel like Freida, take me away, carry me out with this pain!!!!!!!!!" My crazy idea is having a meeting and my house so I can lay in my bed and I dont have to get up to go to a meeting. Is that crazy thinking or what? Im laying low this weekend. I met my sponsor today and told her what was going on... my connection is not strong like it used to be. I know I don't have to relapse to feel the wrath of pills- I can read my old posts and new comer's post who are detoxing to be reminded of the conceiquences. Right now Im just feeling like a dry drunk- sober and not the fun, light hearted, laughing, happy person I was a month ago?

I found 4 things in the big book which will [SIZE=3][B]not[/B] [/SIZE] keep me sober.... This is what I came up with:

1. Will Power ( My idea of taking just one pill a day, using my will power)
2. Long periods of sobriety ( Someone being sober for years and thinking they can somehow control the amount of drugs they consume because they have been sober for so long )
3. Human Aid ( No human can keep me sober- no matter how much I love someone, I cant stop or stay stopped for them )
4. Self Knowledge (Being knowledgeable about the disease, about the drug I am taking, about rehab, about relapse, about the pain I inflict on others as a result of the drugs I take )

Then today, my sponsor asked me when I started doing drugs... I said 14.
She said how old are you now... 38.
So from 14- 38 I have done drugs, not all the time. But started experimenting when I was 14, then at 20 tried others, then stopped when I was "born again" at 26, then got married, had two kids, got divorced- had back surgery and few times, then was introduced to Vicodin, Ambien, and somas. But mostly I would take anything that was in a prescription bottle and would help me change my mood, hide pain, and make it easy to deal with stress. After 3 years of hard core vicodin and ambien use, I said enough is enough. During those years I was dishonest, I was unable to be there for people, I was only concerned about myself, I was reckless, and in relationships that were not healthy. My sponsor told me to write down the things that COULD happen to me if I would have continued to take 20 vic's a day, 5 ambien everynight, and whatever else I could get my hands on that were "mind altering" So I wrote down.. I would have overdosed or killed my children in a car accident, I could have contracted a disease, I could have become homeless, I could have serosis of the liver, etc.

I have homework she gave me...Im gonna do that and continue going to meetings, and see what happens. I read the big book daily, I like the chapters "More about alcoholics", "we agnostics", "How it works" and "there is a solution" the best. DALLAS!! I don't know if you have read this but I know you would be such great person to read it and then let us know what you think. I would snatch you up as my sponsor so fast! You have such a way with words, I would love to know what you think about those chapters.

LISA- I am a size 2, I used to be a size 0 forever! Before I had 2 c- sections. People think is just sooooo great to be skinny. But when I stop eatting when I get lonely or depressed it's not a good thing. I just bought some Jeans this past weekend which actually fit! They are Lucky jeans. They do come in size 2 but I dont know if they have 0. Are you really a 0? Ive been reading your posts and I am amazed at your great additude! Im really proud of you. If you ever need to talk, just hang in there until you reach a computer and then type away. I care for you and want to be happy with clean drinking water!
How is that situation by the way?

I wanted to say hi to BF- Alice, Ellen, Christina (hydroqueen), CM, Lisa, DA, Lynn ( I wish you could have seen my face when I read the old posts ) they were so funny! and Goddessg ! ! !

I hope you all have a great weekend, and Im glad yall are here to talk to and all helping one another. It really is a cool thing and so far from where I used to be.

Love,

Sara :yawn:





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