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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


I am 21 years old and oxycontin is taking over my life, I have never had any addictions before this, not even smoking ciggerettes or drinking alcohol. Let me start by saying, I haven't talked with anyone other than my boyfriend about this addiction,and he too is an on-going addict...it all started about a year ago, when I was 20, I started doing hard-core drugs, not just pills, but meth, ecstasy, cocaine, pot, etc.. I was never really into pills other than a xanax every now and then until sometime around last October, 04'. It all started out so innocently, someone crushed me up an Oxy 40 and I snorted the whole thing and INSTANTLY I felt invincible, like I could do anything, and I absolutley loved it. I was doing Oxy's and Roxicotton (generic oxy's) pretty regulary but not enough to where I had developed an addiction until sometime in January of this year, that is when I had my first REAL withdrawal from any drug, I didn't know what to do. I hated it!! I could not make myself get out of bed, I could not face the day, suddenly the things I once cared about (school, work, family, friends, and bills) became less important to me, and the only thing I craved was my next Oxy in order to get out of bed and face the day. I was taking the Oxy's just to feel 'normal', the high was nothing like the first initial snort, but the withdrawals where so bad that I just HAD to have it!!! After a few months of that a friend of mine had a prescription to methadones and sold me about 40 of them, my boyfriend and I used them over a 2 weeks period and was basically off the Oxycotton, the cravings where less and the withdrawals where mostly gone, it seemed so easy. We thought that once we got off them that we could do an Oxy here and there and use it for just fun and the high I once got from it.. so as soon as my methadones ran out I decided to get 5 OC 20mg's and take them straight to the dome, I crushed and snorted, and the feeling that I use to feel was back, I loved it again!! All though, I didn't go through any withdrawals the next day, so I thought "I'm cured" so I decided to wait a few days before snorting my next Oxy..so after 2 days I snorted a 40mg and by the next morning i woke up with the withdrawals I had beaten once again!! Now I am in a huge financial mess, I don't have the money to keep up this habit so I have got to the point to where I take percocet or hydrocodones to make the withdrawals go away for they are cheaper than the price of Oxy...this addiction is ruining my life... I don't know why they make a pill that is THAT good...the feeling I get when I take a Oxy to the head is the best feeling I have ever experienced, I really feel like superman, but the feeling I feel when it goes away makes me want to just cut the rest of the world off from me and hide... is anyone else a recovering drug addict who could help me through this time? My parents are not understanding and I don't have anyone to REALLY talk to, so many people I know are in the same situation as me, addicted to Oxy's, so it is hard to find someone who is a recovery Oxy addict who can tell me there is hope.. please help...





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