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This is Katie's mom. She is on her 8th day of detox but just her 4th day of no oxy's at all. She is fighting such a hard battle but there is no doubt in my mind she is going to do it. She doesn't ever want to take an oxy again esp. with the tough taper and detox she is going through. I wasn't happy with the detox in the hospital but at least she is done with that part and now needs to feel better. She feels like her heart is about to jump out of her chest. I listened to her heart tonite and it is beating pretty fast. Not really abnormal but around 104bts/min. Normal is between 60-100. While it is not a lot over normal it is high for her. I am pretty sure it is from the detox and also from anxiety. Everyday I tell her tomorrow will be better and when its not she get very anxious and depressed. She is so afraid she will never feel normal again. She is still very shakey, sweating, leg and muscle aches, heart pounding, cold hands but not as bad with stomach upset. Lomotil has worked well with the cramping. I tell her just 7 days ago she couldn't make her self walk around in the hospital room and yet last night she wanted me to take a walk with her. That is a big step forward!!

I just think that with the bad experience at the hospital from no meds to help her with the detox not even tylenol for the pains or lomotil for the cramping that she is all the more anxious for what lies ahead. Also the doctor talked us in to going inpatient rehab and it was a nightmare. It was a gross place that had a scarey bunch of people in it. I am not meaning to insult anyone but the day she went first of all it was more like Katie you won't be able to leave her until you admit you were an alcholic. Yes she was taking the oxy that was prescribed by the doctor but doesn't drink alcohol at all. When she first got there her counseler who was a year or so younger than her had her take all her clothes off so they could make sure she didn't have something hid in one of her body parts. That in itself was humilitating. The she kept asking Katie if she knew one of the boys from our home town and said she use to run around with him and if anyone needed treatment it was him. Not the way I would have hoped it would go.

Then she kept asking Katie when she had taken the last hullicitant. Katie was like no I never took any illegal drugs just the oxy that the doctor prescribed. They weren't happy that she wouldn't admit to that. Then they go through all her stuff and take away her hairspray because she will probably sniff that. No hairdryer or curling iron because she might heat some drug with them?? Then they take her to her room and watch her put everything away and then they are down with her for the weekend.

When I pulled up there the 2nd time there was a carload of some scarey guys who wanted "Lucky" to come out because they had something for him. I will swear to God it was drugs. There was no supervision there so it would be very easy to get drugs once you were in there. Then a younger boy and girl were laying on the living room floor and doing everything but screwing. I mean hands in pants and up the shirt. Then I find out that they are all roomed on the same floor men and women just doors away from each other with no locks on the doors. There was a 50 year old man in there for sexual abuse that was really eyeing her. Everyone there was placed there by a court order so they just presumed Katie was too. It was all about what kind of high do you like to get? Pretty well known between the residents that drugs were easy to get there.

I finally went and got my daughter and son-in-law to go with me as that night was family night and it was so scarey when we even pulled into the parking lot and most of the patients were outside smoking, swearing, kissing between the males and females, and the fact that they can walk down the block and get the drug of their choice that sent my daughter into a rage. She kept saying Mom how could leave Katie her? I knew I needed to let them see for themselves because if it would have just been me that would have felt that Mom was enabling her and wouldn't like any place she was going for intreatment. For 5,000 private pay a week the place was just plain filthy. Pain was chipping off the walls and in just plain was stinky.

When we went to the sign in desk the lady said Katie had left and went to the cafateria. We went there and no Katie. We went back and they called Katies name over the loudspeaker and 5 minutes later here she comes. She was told to go to her room and then for the next 3 hours she saw no one. No one came to welcome her or have her meet the others or nothing. When I went to the nurses station they were having a cigerette and were loud and acting like it was a party. One of the nurses at first even told Katie and myself that when she had to take pain meds a year from now for her headaches that she would have to take more as she had built up a tolerance to them. I thought that was a dumb statement to tell someone that was detoxing off the pain meds and they were to teach her ways to stay off them.

I could go on and on but this is already to long. When I put all of the negatives together and saw what this place was I looked at Katie and said you will not stay here tonite or ever. I just can't put into words how bad it was. I am pretty sure rape was on the top of my list. I went to the head nurse and said we had decided this wasn't the place for Katie and of course upset the apple cart. They were mostly concerned that they wouldn't be getting the 20,000 for a four week stay that we were promised before we ever went that it would be a 1-2 week stay since she had already admitted to taking the oxy and wanted off by choice. None of them had any idea what to do but finally came up with an AMA form. I asked if she had seen the doctor yet and they said No she wouldn't meet with him till Monday(this was Friday) but they had all kinds of drugs they could give her to make her more comforable. They tried to talk her into ultram but she wanted none of that as she had read on the board that it too can be addictive. Plus I was thinking she has already been through 6 days by that point so why start high powerful drugs now when she had already made it through the worse part of detox.

It was pointed out by one patient that they all get the goody drugs around 10 pm so they can fall asleep till morning. So I called my insurance company and said I had a real problem and asked them should I sign the AMA papers and they said without a doctor seeing her while she was there it wasn't really against medical advice. It was Katies choice to go and we all decided that it wasn't a place to help Katie and considering the set up of all the men and women living together on one floor with no supervision. So we refused to sign out AMA and just packed her bags up and left. I had never seen Katie so scared in her life as she was there. Here she was a self admitted oxy addiction and they wouldn't let her leave till she admitted to alcohol and illegal drugs she had taken. It seemed like a no end situation so we took her and left. The nurse said to me your doctor in Kearney isn't very happy and I turned around and said we'll you can mark my works that I am not very happy with him either and I would be sure and let him know.

I can garantee that none of you with young women would have ever let their daughter stay there. I was told in a off the wall phrase that all the rest of them had been court ordered to be there and it was a punishment for them. That remark put shivers down my spine because Katie too was to be punished for her "crime". Maybe it would have seemed a little different if Katie had lied to us and didn't want help and wasn't going to stop her oxy use I would have not been so upset but that wasn't the whole story. The story was that she had over 20 sinus surgeries and was prescribed it by a doctor and was taking it accordingly to his orders and she came to us and said that the oxy prescribed to her was making her sad and afraid and she didn't know how to stop it which took a lot of courage.

I had better stop because I am just rambling on and on but we did find a great doctor and therapist to work with Katie 3 days a week and it could be 5 days a week. They will not only work with her about her addiction but also with the depression she has been fighting for a couple years. If we are wrong and outpatient does work then we will move on to the next step. I don't think we need to worry because Katies wants the help. We will give this program a chance and pray it will work. I am just so glad I took her out of that awful place and she will hopefully get the help she needs. If we were wrong at least we have a connection with the doctor and therapist and will trust what they think is the right thing to do.

I had better get off as I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open. My medical malpractive lawsuit was settled today. It was the scarest and emotional day I have ever experience and We are happy witht he settlement. I think we could have gotten more money but if we wouldn't have settled it would go on for another 2-3 years and probably another 100,000 in expenses and I felt it had been going on for 3 years already and I needed closure so I can focus my attention to Katie getting better and with the lawsuit settled I can enjoy my new little grand daughter and put it behind me. I am so relieved it is finally over.

Thanks for always beening there for Katie and myself and for the prayers and the kind words. Again, we love all of you !!!

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