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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I have been thinking that I might have a problem. I want to be high every day. I wake up and do a line of cocaine. I do not use pills very often, but I do blow, drink vodka, take nyquil, take X (about 3-5 times a month) and smoke pot several times a week. I take cocaine and go to sleep with PM over-the-counter headache relief, plus drink about 2-4 ounces of Vodka every day. I only eat 1 time a day, for the most part, but I only just realized that I might have an addiction problem the last few weeks.
My entire adult life I have watched girls inject heroin between their toes, and people roll on e and GHB, and I thought that if I do not smoke crack and take heroin, then I would not form an addiction. I do not feel loss of control, and I do not like to go super high. But, I never knew cocaine was a hard drug since most people do use it. I am a high fashion/ runway/ editoral model, and I travel all over the world for my work. The most successful models do not really go out to parties, or get drunk. As do I, niether. People usually sit at home or just do a little at a time, throughout the day, and at your job. You do lines and drink a little champagne. You just stay awake, whatever. I like my lifestyle, but I do not want to kill myself. The drug gets weaker and weaker, and I lost 9 or 10 kilo this month alone.
What should I do??

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