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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


Hi all,
Well- I'm a real 'newbie' here so I hope you dont mind my 2 cents worth. I have seen both sides of this argument. I grew up in a house where my teenaged stepbrother was a heroin addict, schizophrenic, and abused alcohol as well (and provided alcohol and heroin to me from when I was too young to remember until 13 in order to abuse me). At 13, I moved to Australia. My mother was also a 'mini' alcoholic (her words) but we had a comfy enough lifestyle thanks to my grandad. He was a good man, but very sick and was on diacetyl morphine (medicinal heroin) for cancer pain. He refused to take it, and I started to drink his bottles of it at 14.
He died when I was 15, and I immediately left home. I hung out with the 'heaviest' people I could find and , predictably, had a baby by 16. My mother moved back overseas and I had only myself in the country, and a drug-addicted boyfriend and a baby. Things went on like that for a long time. I became pregnant again. I tried methadone, went to rehabs, went to court facing 7 years for fraud (tryingto get money to support my habits)...
Finally, facing court again and facing returning to a destroyed house, a heroin dependant husband and a huge financial mess, I managed to get clean for the final time. I kicked out my husband, went to NA for 3 months and family counselling and eventually met my second husband (whom I am still with)
Today, I feel only horror at the mess I created back then. I have terrible guilt for all of the consequences and especially the pain I caused my parents and my children.If you stop an addict from hurting you, they will have less pain later when they make it through. In my opinion, offer the hand of support whenever they're willing to make the big change but don't let their addictive beast manipulate you to support the lifestyle. I have over 5 years clean now.I had addictions to everything at one time or another; heroin, amphetamines, pills,alcohol, marijauna,methadone, (except for crack and the new designer drugs) and now I don't even smoke cigarettes. I love and respect my parents so much for all they've been through and daily attempt to make my childrens' lives as wonderful as possible. I call my parents all the time, and we write to each other nearly daily on the email. I consciously try to teach the kids the value of life and the wonders we have been given, and how easily it can all be lost. I so hope my children will be ok. My youngest is now 3 and is blossoming, as is my 10 year old daughter, though I still have to periodically send her to visit her addicted father, and my eldest is nearly 20 and is finishing school. Myself, I'm studying to try and get into University to do behavioural science.I just hope it's not to late to make my parents proud.
Love them and be there for them, but don't help them hurt themselves or you or your family- and all of you will be better off.
Hope that helps. There IS light at the end of the tunel!
JJKoala :wave:





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