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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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[QUOTE=thom3]I am having a really hard time with this. Short story - 39 yr old woman with a great hubby of 11 yrs and 3 great kids - 10,8 and 2. Problem - started Vikes about 3 months ago and worked up to about 8 10/500's a day. Why should I stop if it makes me feel better. And I DO feel better on it. I am a better and nicer person, mother and wife. I know as soon as I take it I will be so much nicer and more calm than I ever am or have been in my life.

I have heard so many horror stories though. And the money is killing me. I have spent about $1500 in the past few months on it. I have a refill coming fedex tomorrow and want to get it.

Why shouldn't I? Somebody please help. I have been off for 6 days and the worst DT's are over. But I am still agitated and depressed and just don't want anything to do with my kids. What is wrong with me? I know as soon as I take a couple pills all will be fine with the world.

Please help and prove to me why I should NOT accept this package tomorrow.[/QUOTE]

I wrote to you on another thread and I do not believe that myself or anyone can talk you into not accepting that package tommorrow if that is what you really want to do. This is basically the crux of addiction. Nobody ever starts off taking drugs because they want to become drug addicts. People like myself become addicted to drugs because of the fact that there is some benefit that one derives from using drugs to begin with, whether it be euphoria, elimination of an unwanted emotion like depression or anxiety or the elimination of a physical pain. The reason anyone gets addicted to anything whether it is booze, shopping, sex, drugs or whatever is because it makes us "feel better" temporarily.

If there was never any benefit at all to taking drugs then none of us would become addicted to begin with. But with the "benefit" of this drug making you a "better person", there is also the cost that goes along with that. In your case I can see that you are taking alot of acetaminophen with this and you are in danger of damaging your liver. You also run the risk of having a respiratory arrest as do any of us. Even though that is true if you are like me or typical in what is seen in people with drug addictions you probably are not worried about your liver or your ability to breath or lack thereof. However as you continue to use you will begin to eliminate your feelings if you have not done so already. This is called tolerance. As this happens then you will eventually need to take more drugs to acheive that "good feeling" that you are experiencing right now. As this continues you will need to lie more to your family and doctor about your drug use. As time goes on your children will be effected by the fact that their mother is not their for them emotionally and will become increasingly distant. You husband will someday get sick of your drug abuse and will either file for divorce or your drug abuse will force him to deal with you on a pathological level in turn making him dysfunctional and the story goes on and on.

The previous scenario may or may not happen. But do you really want to risk it. My suggestion is to find a good doctor and tell him what is going on and maybe you should be on suboxone or subutex or another drug that is much safer and less addicting. Have your doctor suggest a sub doctor in your area.

I hope that you make the best decision for you and your family and not accept the package. But there is always help is you really want it.

Andrew





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