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I have been on benzos since 1995. I recently went inpatient cut cold turkey Xanax with a Serax comedown, come to find out that the second time I went in to psychological withdrawal, was given Ativan/Lorazepam which is a benzo - medications I want no part of anymore. Getting ready to move into a 90 day sober living home, to kick the Vicodin once more and hopefully get off the Ativan.
My question: am I fooling myself, detoxing a VERY nasty detox of the benzo Xanax after being on it for over a year and a half (10mg a day), then 'switching' to another benzo - Ativan? The doctor gave [I]his[/I] ok, but what about [I]my[/I] ok, and right now I'm not feeling ok about it. I am an addict, and the detox off of Xanax was something I never want to do again. I was dizzy, headaches, sweats, and the worst part was that it felt like my whole face was shot up with Novocaine, it went numb for about a week, and I kept twitching, I couldn't feel my face! Narcotic withdrawal was a cakewalk compared to the Xanax kick.

Any suggestions/experience/feedback would be greatly appreciated, I feel like I'm in a catch 22 crapshoot.

Thank you.
Thanks for all your input and posts, I really appreciate it.
Patty, I was thinking something similar, it's like giving permission for an alcoholic to have a margarita every night eh?! This doc knew I de-toxed off of Xanax, then goes and gives me Ativan. Yes, I could have and should have said absolutely not, but I did not. I'm moving into the sober living home tomorrow, and am going to get back on track. I can say one thing, to anyone, from my experience, I have become more angry [I]off [/I] of Xanax. I get angry quite easy, more just ticked off at the small things, but I don't have my best friend any longer, so now I am really pissed! Anyway, Patty your analogy was super indeed! It is like being addicted to Percocet and then c/ting then being told you can use Lortab with no chance of addiction. [B]Basically one is putting down one addiction and picking up another, you know what I mean?[/B] The inpatient doc nor my outside doc is weaning me off the Ativan, in fact, I saw my doc just yesterday and she just gave me 15 with 2 refills. *sigh* The Xanax withdrawal went as expected, I'm still alive so it must have went as scheduled [I]time wise[/I] I guess. It's probably different for everyone. I hope I can find the sites re: benzos you speak of, I'll try a few searches. Thank you. The house I [I]was[/I] living at said absolutely NO benzos, so I de-toxed off of the Xanax, the house I'm moving into tomorrow understands my dilemma and said, "take what your doc is giving you, and hopefully you can get to a new doc and get off the mood altering drug". I think that is fair, the people know I'm trying. Thanks for the info about the Ashton Manual, never heard of it.
Hooray for you! Almost a year off benzos - great job! How did you do it? May I ask what has kept you clean and sober? How did you know you were addicted? I would love to hear. Honestly I did not think benzos were all that bad, and I never thought I would get addicted - ever! I never needed any psychiatric medication until 1995, before that I lived life on life's terms - not sure what went wrong :(
Keep up the good work, and thanks for posting.
Constant - may I ask what withdrawal symptoms you had c/ting off your benzo of choice?
youngmomma - in all honesty,[I] and[/I] in all due respect, reading these posts shold scare you, before it *could* get out of hand. Like I said I never thought I would get addicted, first Klonopin, then Ativan, then Xanax was the topper - great med to take the edge off, but also great med for potential and probable addiction! In answer to your question and just my opinion, yes, Xanax is probably the most addicting out of all the benzos out there. Just from my eperience again, I started Xanax in Feb 2004, at 1-2mg a day, by June 2005, I was taking 8-10mg a day, popping them like candy, doing anything to avoid feeling or finding other healthy ways to handle my extreme anxiety. Honestly, I did not know I was addicted, until I was taking the dang drug and was like ok, I don't feel anything, and on top of that, my heart really took a beating, and not in a good sense, I had fluttering that was worse then my original anxiety, then I stopped one day and really realized just how many I was taking when someone 'over there' was only taking .05-1mg a day. Also, if you read any info on Xanax, it is to be used for [I]short term[/I], not over a year and a half like I did. You asked how you prevent getting addicted when you really do need it sometimes? Looking back, I would say to try to utilize other techniques to deal with the real reason you are taking Xanax. This society is a pill popping society and it is scary if you have been at the hand of haphazard docs who doll out the addictive benzos, we do have a responsibility I know that too.
malakaya - sorry to hear about your fiance. Very sorry. I knew that going off Xanax could possibly cause grand mal seizures as well, so I was put on Neurontin for seizure prevention, although I do believe I had a small one.
Thanks all, and keep your chin up, best wishes to you all.

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