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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Tonnie-
I pray that you can regain your determination to quit drugs. You have so much to 'Live Clean" for. I guess most addicts know that they have so much to be clean for..but like you said, you just don't even know yourself why you would do the drug that took your brothers life. I am sure that your parents lives have just been turned upside down over their children. Yes, "Bless the parents of this sickness." I hope someday you wil let your parents know how much you love & appreciate them. From a parents point of view, I know they love you more than you will ever understand. What do you want them to support you in? You're drug addiction? How many times have they supported you & you failed them? How many lies have you told them? I always go overboard in supporting my son in healthy things that he is doing, in fact our whole family does. But addicts don't see our support or acknowledge it as such. They are very manipulative and put such a spin on our attempts to support them, but we can't support their addiction. You say you would do ANYTHING to have your parents support. I guarantee if you start owning up to your behavior of the past (& present), be honest, be humble ask for forgivness they will welcome you & support you efforts to do what is right. They love & support you, but not your addiction. They see how it has hurt so many. They feel they taught you right, your an adult, you've seen the destruction of drugs (up close & personal)..they don't understand WHY...How can parents understand if the addicts don't even understand? My son Just turned 20, a few days ago. How long have yuor parents suffered? A lot longer than me. It wears on us, it ages us, it has taken such a piece of us that addicts may never understand..but we are still willing to forgive ALL for honesty & a change of HEART.
Hang in there Tonnie-know that you are LOVED & supported more than you realize. Don't look for ecxcuses to continue your addiction. Look for reason to stay clean --you have so many blessings: COUNT THEM, one by one!
If your parents could change things for you they would, but as we all know addicts will only change when they are ready and for some it never comes.
Warm regards,
Kim





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