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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Just an update. Tomorrow morning I have an assessment at an in-patient facility. I'm hoping to get into detox for a few days. Depending on the red tape of my insurance carrier we will see what happens. They don't seem to think in-patient is needed for opiates. I've wished I could pump them full of hydrocodone, vicodin or similar for a few months and then let them try to do this cold turkey at home, it might make them a little more opiate detox friendly. Maybe I'm just weak. I know many of you have done this at home and made it. I couldn't even stick to a taper program.

I'm very nervous. I made the appointment a week ago and I've had all this time to mull it over and have that internal battle - you can do it, you don't need to do it, you can't do it, yes you can do it - and the battle goes on. I have a back-up plan for home detox with my physicians assistance. Short term Valium, vitamin supplements, prescription med's for the stomach cramps, etc.. Part of me just wants to do it at home in my comfort zone with my hubby's support & concern and the assistance of a friend who is a PA for a local addictionologist. Another part of me says I won't succeed if I do it that way - I can always break down and call to get more drugs.

I'm looking forward to being free again, but I'm terrified too. I went to detox 12 years ago but it was different. I woke up one morning and was stuck in detox without time to even think about it. This time I'm initiating the appointment and I've had plenty of time to mull it over, plan, prepare, rationalize, justify, etc... I have 10 days off work which should hopefully be sufficient to feel better and be back atleast half way normal.

Pray for me. I know this is going to be hard. If you guys don't hear from me for a few days it may be because I'm sick as a dog, or hopefully asleep or away in Rehab. I hope the valium helps me sleep through the worst if I have to do this at home. I don't do well with being sick. Funny thing, the whole time I've been on the Hydorocodone I haven't even had a cold, a stomach bug, nothing - not even a sniffle. How can you not become addicted to the cure for everything!! Ha!! Wish me luck, I'm really going to try. I want my life back!!!!

BeginAgain :eek:

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