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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi everyone, Thanks for the responses. I'm on about 8 - 12 7.5 vico's a day. I have about 50 xanax .5 mg and 30 ambiens to help knock me out for the first few days. I have taken both of these meds before (sometimes at the same time when I couldn't sleep) so I know that they will help me somewhat. I also know that I have never had an addiction to either of them, so I'm not afraid of trading one pill problem for another. I have been through withdrawal before, once really bad about 5 years ago when I'd been taking 6 - 8 7.5's a day for about 3 months then suddenly stopped. I had no idea that I would have withdrawal, I'd had surgery and was taking them to kill pain (and to get high, let's be honest here!) but I had no clue that I would have a problem when I got off them. I just thought "oh, ok, I'm out of pills and out of pain so I guess the party's over!" then when I woke up the next day sweating and shaking and heart racing, I called a drug hotline and spoke to someone who told me I was having withdrawal. It lasted about 4 days then I was back to normal, like nothing ever happened. Then a few years ago I would take them for maybe a week or too when I got my hands on them, then when I ran out, I'd just stop. I would have some mild wd's but nothing major and it was mostly mental. Now I've been on them for almost a year straight, and I am so afraid of how horrible the wd's are going to be. I wonder, does the horribleness of the wd's increase dramatically from someone taking 60 mg's a day for 3 months to someone taking 80 - 100 mg's a day? or is it kind of the same intensity and length of time experiencing the wd's for either? I don't know why I'm obsessing, I know darn well it's going to stink like heck for the next week. But I am SOOOOOOO determined! I do not want my daughter to see me popping pills for the rest of my life, and I don't want her to think that all Mommy's carry little amber bottles around in their purse! Well, thanks for letting me vent! I will be posting every day, so PLEASE, anyone who has the time, write to me and give me something to help take my mind off the hell I will be in. Thank you all for your support!
Amy :wave:

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