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It's going to be okay. Tell them the truth. What is the truth? You started out legitimately, you became dependent & then you became addicted. It ceased being all about the pain relief. You are using the oxy's and the perc's to maintain you addiction. You desperately want help. You still have legitimate pain, but you don't want to be a slave to the little amber bottles anymore. You want help titrating down or switching to a medication like methadone that will address your pain and addiction issues. Talk about options for the future. If and when you decide to come off the methadone..can you change to suboxone and then taper off from there. Ask what your options are.

If they refuse to help you (which I don't think will happen) you don't have to give them the Percs. You can use them to taper yourself down. I don't think they are going to snatch them out of your hand. If they give you options and you set a plan..then turn them over. Use your best judgement...follow your gut - you know what is right now - you know you want freedom. Let them know you are afraid and you want support to do this right. Let them know you want to be free. I think they will help you..I'm sure you aren't the only one who has been through this. Pain management doctors probably deal with this often. Don't be discouraged.

In the unlikely event this doesn't work out..there are alwys other options, other doctors, other places. You can't give up. Please don't chicken's going to work out. You are going to be fine. I will be anxiously awaiting your post.

Tina is many times do you think they have caught someone running out early and asking for refills? You are taking the high road're asking for help. I think they will respect your honesty.
Thanks Tina and Phil, mom, funny thing is I know what the answears are going to be before I even ask them sometimes, yall just re-affrim what i knew was right. I am working out a new taper, instead of one at 8 I am going to take two at nine. I am going to take one at 12 or 4 which ever feels the best at the time and double up for the sleep time. So that would be 2 @ 8am, 2 @ 12, 1 @ 4 and 2 @ 9 thats a total of 7. Maybe that will get me through the night.

I am very limited on where I could inpatient if I could because of my insurance, by the way just for grins I called La Hacienda in San Ant, Dr. Phil recommends it sometimes or maybe I seen it on Intervention, anyways without insurance a 30 day stay runs aroud 21,000 wow hello I know there is price you can put on a life but wow.

Bye the way Phil I am guessing from H-town you mean Houston, I am about 200 miles due west of of Dallas. Actually in between Lubback and Dallas. So howdy neighbor.

I am leaving on a trip tomarrow gonna vist some family back East I am worried about the time frame but this was planned along time ago, so no backin out.

The fastest option is still detox I guess at the first place I inquired about. I am going to work on tapering during this semester and maybe during the Christmas break, maybe I can pursue an inpatient option. The first place told me that I could detox and be on suboxone in a matter of three to four days. Still thinking of that option. The amazing thing is I have so many options right now, a week or so again when I first started to post I had very few options at all. I do not have alot of patience I want things when I want them, it has always been a fault of mine.

If things do not work out with my wife I still have the option of the "advisor" postion in the desert, i do not know why but I feel more at home their. We had a furneral for a young man that died in Irac a couple of days ago, he was 23. I think this is one of the reasons that I feel like I left with too many things not accomplished and maybe if I went back I could help fix some things. She would not stand for that, we have said goodbye too many times, I cannot do that and stay married thats for sure. She has made it quite clear that she is not going to wait around, wait for that phone call or a vist from the chaplin. No more no way.

Well I am babbeling, I will be able to post a little more tomarrow gonna work till noon but after that I will be without a comp till Tuesday.

Thanks to all that have helped me so far, I really appreciate all the kind words, all the wisdom, all the sharing. Tina without you making your phone call I would not have done the same thing, I owe you, remember its me and you in this together. I feel we are about in the same place right now. Thanks to you again. Janet hope this weekend is everything you wanted it to be. Phil if your gonna wear them tights might wanna shave those legs hahah

Love ya-mean it

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