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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

The problem with using the memory of the pain of physical withdrawl from opiates is that, over time, your mind AND body forgets. Its like this for any drug. I can remember many coke binges when afterward, I would say, "God, please take me away from this. I can't take these feelings anymore." Or, while going through a week of heavy opiate withdrawls (quit cold turkey last January), looking in the bathroom mirror saying, :God, this is a f***ing nightmare. This is unbearable! I really and truly wish I would just die." Then, you deal with it because you don't have a choice. Then, a couple of weeks pass and you are feeling pretty normal and you kind of forget what it was like. Of course you have the memory of how you were feeling but you don't have a sense of the actual pain you were going through at the time because everything is better. So, you justify doing just one because "You owe it to yourself for the hard work of quitting." Next thing you know, you are chasing the high once again. Hence, the cycle of addiction and recovery. I think we have all been there at some point or we wouldn't be on this board.
Hey Phil. The whole reason I used Vikes in the first place is I thought they were the perfect drug for my depression. I have had serious bouts of depressin my entire adult life. With the derpression comes very low energy. Vikes were the perfect cure all. They made me happy and gave me energy. Why did I blow almost three months of being clean to use again? I guess deep down inside I knew that I really wasn't quitting for good. When the holidays rolled around, and I had the opportunity to score big time and have a huge pill party I couldn't resist. It was a huge regret. I feel like such a piece of crap for letting myself get caught up in the web of addiction again. This time I really have quiting forever in mind, and I have confessed a problem to people. So it will be different.

My alcohol detox was the worst Hell I have ever been through. To set it up, the last time I drank, I stayed drunk for a week solid. I mean every waking moment. I would drink until I passed out, wake up a drink until I passed out again. When I finally had to dry out I was up for three solid days without sleep in a pool of cold sweat. Every minute seemed like an hour. I shook uncontorlably. I lost about 15 pounds in one week. I halucinated, and had terrible nightmares when I did finally sleep. I will never go there again. Like I said my worst Vike WD's I had paled in comparrison.


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