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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Good morning, Kelley.

The name of the song you're speaking of is "SAVE ME" by Shinedown. This is a song I believe many, MANY, members on this board can relate to. I will not post the whole song unless it is requested of me to do so. HOwever, I did want to share a portion of this song with this group.

I can hardly remember the look of my own eyes. How can I love this? A life so dishonest, it made me compromise. Someone save me if you will and take away all these pills. And please just save me if you can from the blasphemy in my wasteland.
I like this song b/c I can relate to the lyrics and b/c I 've been there before. What did I learn? I learned that there can be a million "someone's" there "to save me", but the fact remained that in order to change - I HAD TO DO SOMETHING - "someone" or "no one" for that matter could do it for me, I had to do it myself. Kelley, Today is #9 for me , it may not sound like much, but that's about 3,000mg of opiates (about 9 days worth) that I can proudly say TO MYSELF that they're not in my system and I did it.
START OVER - if you screwed up, make it right, YOU CAN DO THIS, no matter how you may feel at this moment, IT IS POSSIBLE. There are many people on these boards who have done it. I don't think it ever goes COMPLETELY away (the desire to be high that lurks in the back of your head) but you can find constructive ways to curb those urges.
Go to a mirror, look at yourself and remember, YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE "ADDICT" KELLEY. Remember what it was like to feel nature at its best, be it from a warm ray of sunshine that gently kisses your cheek, or a cool northern breeze swiftly sweeping over your body. Go to a park, watch the children play and remember what it was like to only worry about "how high you could make your swing go" or "how sick you felt on the merry go round after being spun around 100 times". These are how children get high, they are high on life - everyday a new venture and experience for them. As adults, we can find "natural highs" as well. Have you ever volunteered or help someone who TRUELY needed your help? I'm sure you have. The feeling you get is awesome! Occupy your time with short walks, simple smiles (most smiles will be returned), and kind gestures. The more you do, the more you will FEEL again. Except this time the feelings will be real and not clouded in a false sense of happiness that opiates have created for you over the years. It's okay to be scared. We are all scared of the unknown and things we don't remember (life b/f opiates). It will take you a little while to remember what you did when you weren't high, but you will, and you will do this...if you just put your mind to it.
PLease forgive the length of this post. You are in my thoughts and I will be checking in on you from time to time today.
Hugs to you,
A little history on me -
I have also relapsed in the past. I was doing anywhere from 800mg-1000mg of pills a day (YES, that is over 100 pills a day). I quit for about 2 months then relapsed to an "every now and then" way of thinking.-needless to say, it didn't work, so here I am, 9 days clean and looking forward to day 10! I say "day 10" instead of "the rest of my life" b/c taking it day by day is less overwelming and it works better for me.
If you need me, please post. I want to help you in any way I can.

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