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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I need to cut back (or stop) my drinking. I never was a heavy drinker maybe had a drink three or four times a year. About three years ago, I had an anxiety attack over something (thought I had an STD) and began to drink to relax and fall asleep. Well that issue has long gone and I am still drinking. I basically drink everyday. Usually its wine. I can down one bottle a night, but usually I'll just have three glasses. Sometimes I'll drink beer or a cooler, so I am not getting as much alcohol. I realize I like the way I feel when I'm under the influence. Mellow, less worried and it helps me to sleep. About six months ago a doctor gave me vicodin for neck pain. I had sixty and took them (yeah even when I was drinking). I do like the way I feel when I take it. It makes me itch, but I scratch and fall asleep. When that was gone, my mother began to give me some of hers. At first I only took 1/2 a vicodin, because it made me queazy. Now I take 1 and 1/2 to get the same feelings (sometimes two) and sometimes I pair it with alcohol. I can see this is developing into a problem. The best news is I only have 1 and 1/2 left and then no more. I know I am not physically addicted to this stuff, its the mental addiction that I am fighting. Wanting to feel the way I do when I take that stuff. I am trying to get pregnant and I know I need to stop this. The problem is when I stop, its hard for me to sleep. My mind just races with things and I am up all night. I don't know how to fight this mental addiction. This cycle was a bust for me (as to getting pregnant). Maybe its a good thing. I always *said* that once I was pregnant, I'd stop cold turkey if I had too. Now maybe I can do it before I get pregnant. Just not sure what to do. Any advice?

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