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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hello again,

I was just thinking about you and wondering how you did today. Are the withdrawls tolerable? Find the Thomas recipe on the boards and use them if needed. I tampered and then went cold turkey and only used benzo's for the about a week so I was more fortunate then most.

I did not get the restless legs or stomuch cramps. I go though a lot of amodium ( which is an opiate too ) and drank water every half an hour.

When the dope sickness hit me, I just remembered what the friends on this board said and told myself " this is just the worse flu that I have ever had and I am not going to die from this. I suffered though it because I feel if you do not suffer ( just like child birth ) you will think it is not so bad and continue to do it. Now, that is just my way!

If it gets to bad remember, you can always seek advise from a medical professional. Sometimes as hard as we try we must remember that we are dealing with a chemical dependency. They can prescibe medications to help ease some of the physical effects.

I came clean with my doctor and unfortunatly she did not know anything about pain pill addiciton, which I found hard to believe in these times. Anyway, she referred me to a specialist whom referred me to an addictionologist.

To make a long story short, I scheduled my first appointment with the addition doctor and was surprised that he could not see me for a month. I waited and cried and kept on using. The week before my appointment, his nurse called and cancelled. I re-scheduled and again, the next month he cancelled. Well, that is when I realized that if I did not find some inner strength and get myself off of the vicodin, I would kill my-self by overdosing.

My habit was up to 20 vic's a day and getting worse. I understand when you address the cost factore of this type of addiction but that was not enough for me to quit.

When that doctor cancelled on me I felt demoralized. Something rose up inside of me and shouted " I am still somebody worth saving and dammit if they won't help me I will do it myself and I did. I have stubbled more times then I can tell you but somehow, I get right back up and I fight!

Whenever you feel the need to get more pills, immediately push the though out of your mind and think of something else real quick. I know right now you are not able to do that, because the physical dependency is still so strong but believe me, if you don't use and go though the dope sickness, you will get better, you will feel better, you will be better and you will be able to mentally fight those demons, ...the pills!

Well, I have said to much again, I just want you to know that I care, I understand, I am suffering right along with you and I am here for you.

If you cannot write a long message, just let us know line by line each day that you are o.k. or even if you are not so we can help you.

Until again,

luv'

United
It ain't nothing to it but to do it!
Thank you healthboards and friends.
I am new here too and just wanted to let you know I know how you feel. I am in the same boat basically - except that my wife doesn't do any drugs, which makes it tough cause she can't relate to what I am going through. I spend so much money a month on pills it is sickening - but like you, that is the only way I seem to have any motivation, its the only time I am in a good mood. Until I started reading these posts, I didn't realize that everything in my life revolves around getting and taking pills, with two small children (2yrs and the other is 1 week) and a loving wife, it kills me that I can't find happiness any other way. Not to mention the fact that she just had a C-section and all I can think about is taking her meds (I haven't yet though) I want to break free of the pills - I still have 30 left and am already thinking of how to get my next bunch. It's the WD's that make me so hesitant to give them up cold turkey. I have thought about giving them to my wife to hold and give them "as needed" but I tried that before and the first day she gave them back because it turned into "they are my pills anyway..." This sucks so bad. I hope that I find strength in other peoples trials and tribulations. I have a feeling I will be spending a lot of time on this board so hit me up anytime you feel the need to, even if it is just to vent. I wish you and your family the best of luck
Hello PerCocet30,

I am soooo sorry to read about the pain of being addicted to those pills is causing you. Do you still take pills for pain or ae you just chosing to use?

Man oh Man I feel you to the core of my being. In the middle of my vicodin addition, I switched my doc to percocets. That ****is wicked and the withdrawls can be a mother but,....let me tell you something. Although it is harder then coming off of vicodin, it is not impossible.

Now, just think about what you are saying. You said " when you take the pills, it is the only time you are in a good mood" but,..for how long? As soon as you start to get high, you are already thinking about the next couple of pills that you can pop because you know what coming down is going to be like and how you are going to feel if, you don't take somemore pills. You cannot honestly still enjoy that life style anymore.

Although I am no expert, I think you should try to taper with the pills you have left and then drop down to some vic's, taper somemore and if needed do another taper with some Darvons and then just jump off cold turkey. That was what I did and I found it to be a lot easier then doing a cold turken off of the Percocets. I did that once and it was rough!

Can you confide in your physician and ask for help? Are you really ready to stop? Have you attempted to quit before or are you still just in the thought process?

Don't keep putting this off as the longer you wait, the stronger the hold will get on those **** pills.

You say your wife just had a baby ( congratulations ) so she will need to recover for about six weeks and she will need your support during this time period. Maybe this would be the perfect time for you to begin your tampering program. I am not good at tampering measurements but I am sure someone on this board could advise you of the correct amounts to tamper per week based on pills you are currently consuming.

Maybe do a slow taper for three weeks and then start to cut back more drastically during the fourth week, jump down to the Darvon in the five week and then jump off during the sixth week.

Please do not be ashamed and do not put it off any longer. Call your doctor in the morning and make an appointment and ask for some help with detoxing off those pills!

If cannot do go for help then please help yourself. It is hard but you can it is worth it. Don't do it because of the financial hardship, do it for your wife and your children but first for yourself. If you go down who is going to pick you up and you know in your hear that you cannot continue on the path that you are on.

You made a decison to cross the line with these pills so now, make another one to leave that **** alone!

It may take time and you will suffer but the rewards of getting your life back is worth any amount of hell that you may have to go through.

I care about you and I know you can do this. If I can do it, anybody can!

Take care,

Luv ya'

United
There ain't nothing to it but, to do it!





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