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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


[QUOTE=watson540;2253767]well I have been addicted to hydrocodone for 9 years. I am only 25. I was up to 25 a day a few years ago, until I went into renal failure. My was septic. I went to rehab. Got out and started using again. The all too familiar cycle that has been my life. I now have a 6 month old son. I can finally say that enough is enough. I got my husband addicted and we each have a 30 dollar a day habit. (Thats 10 pills eachaa day) I have also been buying and wearing 75mg Fentanyl patches. that I pay 35 bucks a piece for.
I am so tired of waking up everyday and hurting so bad that I cant walk, and if I dont have at least 3 pills in me before 10am.....then comes the diarrhea and I cough so bad I vomit. Thats my life everyday. wake up and take pills and worry about where to find more. If you think about it, its such a worthless lifestyle...I have dates marked on my calender of when mt "connects" go to the script doctor. I pay $2-3 dollars a piece for these pills. Mine and now my husband addiction...is exceeding our income. We have pawned valuable things, and lost them, all for PILLS.
I guess what got me thinking was the other day (while messed up on pills and speed) I was watching Dr. G Medical Examiner, and there was this 32 year old woman died, leaving behind her 7 month old son. When they did the autopsy, they just ruled her another dead alcholic junkie. I dont want that to be me. I have only taken 4 two days ago 4 pills yesterday and 2 so far today just to ward off the withdrawals. They are only the 7.5/750. So, so far I think I am doing good. I also watch the show intervention...and see how obnoxious these people are, and I am the same way.
I just wanted to post this. I dont NEED support...but a few 'ataboys wont hurt. I have finally decided just to grow up and get off this ****. It has consumed ever aspect of my life.
I dont want to lose my life. My son, My husband....so I guess the pills have to go. For good this time.
The only thing that I am worried about is..that this doesnt seem like a hard decision, its just seems like the resposible thing to do. I have felt like this for 3 days now. Which is a good sign I guess. I have also called my connects, and told them not to call and tell me when they have pills, and when I call asking for them, dont give them to me!! We'll see.
Thanks for taking the time to listen to my pathetic story![/QUOTE]

Ugh.. Thats bad.. Actually a family member gives me Vics when they don't work for her.. I am addicted to narcotics, I just take my ultram for my fix, & save the vics when I really need them. I have a bladder disease, & a ton of teeth problems that I cant ford.. I was taking 25 pills a day so I can relate.. I'm down to 20 now, but know its killing my liver..(I think).. I thimkl all addicts live on a 'schedule' & worry about not getting their drug.. Since Ultram is giving out like candy, I can always get it.. Ofcourse thats not a good thing when you are addicted to them..





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