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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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You've got some tough days ahead of you but when it's over, when the pain subsides, when the sweats stop, when the cold chills go away, when the depression starts to wane, what a GLORIOUS day that will be!! I was hooked on a pill they said was safe, Ultram. I took morphine, Dilaudid, Percocet 10's and Vicodin 10's for 6 months or more after hip surgery. The doctor told me it was possible that I would become addicted and have to detox. I never got addicted to those. Then came the miracle drug Ultram. It was wonderful, no side effects, just pain free. But I realized after a couple of years taking this drug that I couldn't get off it without going through terrible symptoms. I was dumb as to what withdrawal symptoms were because I had never been associated with anyone or anything involved with drugs. I tried several times without success to stop. Then I did the unthinkable, when I couldn't get prescriptions from my doctors, I found other sources like you did. I was ordering from anywhere in the world I could find the drug, Thailand, New Zealand, Africa, you name it. It broke us financially and we're still recovering from that. I realized when I began to get sores on my skin, my hair was falling out, my eyes were turning yellow, and my family looked at me like I was a NUT, it was time to do something. There were about 3 weeks of hell, cold sweats, severe aching joints, depression so low I thought I would die, extreme weakness, all the usual stuff, but after that third week, I feel so good right now I can't even tell you. IT'S WORTH EVERY AGONIZING MOMENT I SPENT IN HELL, BELIEVE ME!!! It's spring here in Georgia and for the first time in 9 years, I can actually see why everybody talks about the springs here. It's BEAUTIFUL. I feel GREAT, and I don't ever want to take another pill as long as I live. I have an open prescription at my pharmacy now for Ultram and it hasn't been filled in a month now. I have no desire to go and get it. I can actually look my husband and daughter in the face now and say "I'm back."

I'm not going to tell you it was easy because it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But I can tell you it was worth it. The first 5 days are the worst, but each day gets better and by 3 weeks, you won't believe how good you'll feel. Then you have to figure out how to forgive yourself.

I didn't do anything special, just didn't take the pills any more. I guess that's what they call cold turkey. I did drink a lot of fluids and tried to sleep with Benadryl as much as possible (which didn't help so much) but I've never been much of a sleeper anyway. I just fought through the agony and prayed and ask for God's help through this nightmare, and He brought me through, He alone.

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