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I found that xanax did help with my hydro w/d just be careful not to trade one for the other. I had alot of restlessness especially not being able to sleep was the worst I also had alot of cold and sweats. Your w/d's will be uncomfortable with the hydro but you caught in time so they might not be as intense as some who are trying to stop after 2 + yrs. Good that you caught it in time and want to stop now. It wont be easy but exercise, hot baths, vitamins and rest when you can will help ease them some but not all the way. Just be careful not to start abusing the xanax to mask the w/d's continue to take those as prescribed abusing those is not fun. I too get xanax and never abused those infact I dont take them daily only when I feel a panic attack coming on and that did help with my w/d's but stopped taking them once that was through as not to get another addiction to those started. But I understand that some people need them daily and they will also help with the anxiety caused from w/d's off the lortab. Good luck you can kick this habit!!! Kim
Hello,
I have been reading forums for a while now regarding others addicted (for whatever reason) to narcotic PRESCRIPTIONS. Just felt like sharing my story, hoping to bring relief to some. Roughly 5 years ago, (I'm in my early 30's). I started feeling much lower and mid back pain. A neighbor gave me the hydrocodone 10/325's to take. After trying the standard otc med's I thought would help nothing worked but the hydro's. I continued to take them as they were just being given to me. Initially yes, it was for pain relief, then.... I know I became mentally & physcially addicted to them. I ended up doing things as I thought I should, went to my family doc, told him my situation & about my back pain. He wrote me my scripts for quite some time but he also tried to get me a specialist, I liked him a lot but it he never tried to taper me down or f/u with me on the specialist visits. He was giving me 60 tabs every 12-15 days for a long time. A year later he told me to come in for blood work (they have to do that for their files). We all know prolonging finding a permanent cure is easier because it seems the pills are all we need. The Norco 10/325's gave me so much energy and things seemed easier to deal with. For the longest time it felt I couldn't do anything w/o them. The amt. he was giving me didn't seem to be enough so I found 2 other doctors for scripts...I didn't consider the legalities (or as any addict, ignored them). None of these doctors EVER told me the risk of addiction or the pain of the withdrawals... nothing.. but I don't only blame them. Yes, I had been in 2 serious car accidents & have severe muscle spasms, but nothing was ever determined through MRI's/X-rays that constituted the level of pain meds they kept me on. I didn't question that...I just wanted the pills. I know I kept taking them mainly for that euphoric feeling. I felt embarrassed going to the doctors office requesting refills and picking them up from my pharmacy. Perhaps my true colors were showing. I didn't want anyone to think I was an addict to them....although at one point I felt that my pain was justified....I know there are others that are a lot worse off than I am that truly need them. I do firmly believe nobody should be on narcotics for too long though. In summary...I was running out of ways to obtain them..my doctors were helpful at the time but they stopped my prescriptions for the reasons most doctors do. No, they didn't taper me off and I do feel they were wrong in that aspect. As soon as I found out I couldn't get anymore from my last doctors, I was stuck.....I had NONE. I went w/o hydro for I believe it was 22 days. I was MISERABLE! I thought I was going to die. I have a child to raise on my own, no family or friends to help, (I'm always working or living for my child) ...I couldn't let anyone at my job know ...I have a wonderful job. Having to quit cold turkey after taking up to 14-18 10/325's per day was awful. I experienced all the standard symptoms: bathroom issues, severe flu symtoms, no energy, mood changes left and right and restless nights that seemed to go on forever & my body temperature was going crazy. I firmly believe a percentage of addiction is mental but I'm no doctor. Majoring in Pschology, doing research on placebo's, I've always believed in mind over matter .. When I first quit cold turkey, I only took 1 day off work and then the next day, I only made it half a day at the office. The next couple of weeks at work, I was useless...but I forced myself because I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, I was late everyday but went. Didn't clean for 3 weeks (which is not like me...had to keep up w/all household chores and be a mom..it was tough. I moped around & felt like if I didn't get more pills, my life would fall apart. I went to a different doctor and started all over...6 months ago.. I've been on Hydro 10/325 for a total of 5 1/2 years with only that one 22 day break in between with nothing, I always had pills except during that time. It took some convincing with this new doc...but he gave me the script. I filled it and kept making excuses to continue to get them. He did ask I go to a specialist, get some MRI's & I did to continue getting the refills from him. He started me out on 4-6 10/325's per day (but we all know we take more most days)..I kept making up stories to get my refills early, made up stories to get more pills... etc.. he kept giving me the 10's for about 5 months.... last month @ this time he cut me down to the 7.5/325's. Those seemed to give me relief but he gave me lower quantities so it got harder and harder to continue to have a supply on hand. I talked to him, I asked him to please gradually cut me down. I did some research and knew I should finally ask him to do this. He did it too quickly. He suddenly took a quantity of #40 at 7.5's/325's at 1 every 8 hours to a quantity of 20 tablets at 1 every 12 hours......then, they wouldn't refill it for me...it took me 3 calls to the doctors office to explain that things were moving too quickly. They finally called in a refill but guess what, this time...it was only 10 tablets at 1 per day. This, to me AND my pharmacist was too much too quick. She didn't even agree with it and that's all pharmacists do is medication, I trusted her more than the doc but there's not much you can do when your doctor always thinks he knows best. I had 10 tablets left (counting today, 8 days ago) and this is what I did. I took 4 last Friday, I took 3 on Saturday, I wanted to take the last 3 on Sunday but I didn't... I took 2. I felt like something was missing but I think I still had enough of the narcotic in my system for those to suffice. Well, come Monday morning...I only had one left (this was 5 days ago), I took that last one around 7:30 Monday morning before I went to the office. By that afternoon and all that night I kept thinking of ways to possibly get more. What prevented me from doing that was the embarrassment and hassle and money spent going through the process of being addicted to the pill. I decided, that's it...no more. It's Friday evening and I haven't had a hydrocodone since Monday morning early. Miraculously enough, yes...I had a few stomach issues the first two days.... still am sneezing a bit, not many body aches at all.....I think I expected to go through the miserable time I did the first time I quit but that isn't the case this time. I've gotten up at 6:00 every day this week, got my child through his last week of school, worked full days (and productively) :-), am doing fine and keeping up dinners for my child and house work..... and NO, I'm not superwoman...I still feel weird, like something's missing....like I still have a craving, I still think about the pills, but... I have slept very well even knowing I don't have one to take when I wake up which is what used to keep me going :-( .... but this is all I've done thus far: I've tried to eat a **** load of fruit, I'm taking a good multivitamin daily.... and I know this sounds weird but I invested $50.00 into 2 of my favorite CD's. Sarah Brightman sings a great song "Winter in July" (totally inspirational for me) and Sarah McLauglin's "Fear" is another song I love. I blast these in my car every morning after I get my sonic tea and they give me so much inspiration. I keep thinking about tomorrow instead of today and I just keep telling myself that every single day is going to get better and better. It's not always easy...this afternoon I had a quick 20 minute spell at work where I had to hop on a forum and read about others with the same problem to get through the day. I was reading some horrific, sad stories...people getting arrested for Rx forgery.... losing their families...etc.... in fact, yesterday at the store I saw 2 police officers attending what appeared to be a very serious issue at a very upscale pharmacy here in my town..... that to me, was a sign from G-d. I know I've written so much but it was important to me to let everyone I've been reading about all week know that when I think about how long I've been on these, why, how many I was taking, what I did to have access to them... and to here the truth about the few days it's been since I stopped taking them w/o the taper....(which, if you can is probably the best way to do it).....unfortunatley, I ran out of pills entirely but figured, now's the time to stop, but also..I woke up and realized that I can either stay on them forever which is difficult when you have to go through so much in some states to obtain them, or just stop now as I've been forced to. I keep thinking of all the other things I will be able to do when I'm completely healed from this that will take the place of numerous doctor and pharmacy visits and extensive medication costs...because when your insurance co. will only pay for a narcotic when prescribed from one doctor and not the exact same narcotic even with a prescription from another doctor.... you have to act like you don't even have insurance and pay for them out of pocket. These are the things that keep me going. I guess I just got lucky with the withdrawal symtoms not being as bad the second time (please remember they will exist still)..... but also please remember that I have gone through the agony of a 22 day cold turkey withdrawal and I really understand what you are all going through. Mind over matter, no matter how bad the physical symtoms suck..... keep positive. Just PLEASE KNOW that time takes care of EVERYTHING, I firmly believe that. I know that since I've had the addiction for 5 years, a good attitude doesn't free you from the classified "addict"....but knowing I'm on the road to calling myself a recovered Narcotics addict holds a great sense of proudness for me and I know that it's better for me and my son in the long run. Please...to all, anything is possible if you really want it to be. Good luck and God Bless.
Hello, thank you for reading and responding. I just want to tell you that you really need to tell your significant other for a couple of reasons...1. If you love him, you need to tell him for that reason. 2. If he loves you, truly..he will understand and be there for you...and 3. YOU CANNOT HIDE THE WITHDRAWALS OR MASK THEM AS GETTING OVER A COLD. Trust me, After 5 + years, they are described as "flu like symtoms"...but people that don't even know me very well could tell something was different. You have to talk to him. Please. I hate to say this also but if he doesn't understand, he isn't worthy of you. Addiction is a disease and it doesn't have to be a shameful one depending on how it happened. Most people in this forum had legitimate pain at one time or another. Regarding the package that will be waiting on your desk, can't you call them now and tell them to cancel the order? You will have to do this because if you receive it....it will take much strength on your behalf to throw them away without even opening them. Let me tell you again, I am on day 10 now. I was taking a lot...yes, this is my second time quitting but I am going to do great and I am a single mother with a very demanding job, no significant other and nobody I can really confide in...if I can do this, I feel many others can. I hope your relationship is true because if it is, you can utilize that as power to stop just as I have my son. He is my inspiration, I look into his beautiful eyes and yes, he knows that I've taken them for a while but of course doesn't "fully understand", he's 14... but I keep thinking about, "what if this happens to him"...(trying to set a better example) :-) I promise you, you can do this but you need a loved one's support, you need someone to give you tough and emotional love. Talk to him, gently...there are ways of approaching it without making yourself sound like a junkie. Please let me know how it goes. I will do anything I can verbally to help you motivationally, I can assure you. It hurts, the withdrawals are AWFUL but it's do-able! Isn't that the important thing, knowing it's possible????? God bless you.....keep in touch please.
Hi,

Listen, I hope to catch you while you are still up. 5 days is not long at all in the sense that I can completely understand why you feel weak and can't function as well. I'm on day 22 and I still get those feelings !!! IT WILL BE OKAY, I PROMISE YOU. Time is the ONLY thing that can take away even the worst feelings.

I only want to say one thing and I will let you go until you are ready to talk again. Your addiction is not like your partners brothers. Yes, addicts are addicts...but believe me, I weighed the pro's and con's of that, continuously telling myself that "at least I didn't get addicted to street drugs that were more easily accessible". After I told myself that it was all the same thing, I realized...no...it's not. A lot of doctors WON'T or DON'T tell you how addictive this drug can be and many of them WON'T or DON'T monitor the time you are on the medication without weaning you off after the correct time frame of only a couple of weeks. I don't know why but some just don't. Mine certainly didn't. Like I said in my first post...he was giving me 60 every 10-12 days. Told me to go see specialists, but never followed up...and no, I don't expect to be baby-sat and I do blame myself partially especially since they give those little info/fact sheets with the scripts....BUT, I also trusted my doctor way too much, thinking he wouldn't give me more of anything that I couldn't handle or that he wouldn't continuously prescribe something to me that I would have such extreme difficulty getting off of. SO NO, it's not the same thing sweetie. You were under a doctors care and you became addicted to a highly addictive prescription narcotic and even though it makes you feel worse knowing the extremes you went to in order to have the medication, you were still at one time handed refill after refill and tell me really, did your doctor truly discuss this drug with you in detail? I mean, that's why they get paid the big bucks right? I've met doctors that truly care about their patients, I've met those that give you what you want to shut you up, I've met those that are so scared of losing their license and practice medicine to the very last detail they learned and are so careful about utilizing all options less narcotics, and I've met doctors that do the bare minimum and will keep you on something until THEY DECIDE it might be time to re-think the situation due to a potential audit or what not. You speak as if you guys are so close and have the kind of love I hope to find someday, do me a favor...please try to tell him. I know you might be thinking that if you can kick this and never look back, you won't have to tell him but to live with that secret will be difficult also if you love each other like that. HE WILL UNDERSTAND if you address it in a soft way that focuses on it being a "prescription narcotic" and not a street narcotic. Believe me, if I can tell my boss, you can tell him. I had to tell my boss....I have such a great job I wanted him to know what was going on with me and he was very understanding when it came to my having to call it quits early or whatever, I am salary but I also am fortunate to have him. Hope to hear from you soon. Please take care of yourself. Day 5 is great, long road to emotional recovery as I'm speaking from experience but having it out in the open with the emotional support of your partner will help, I promise. Take care now.
Strongwilled -

Thank you again for your support. I just got off the phone leaving messages with several substance abuse counselors in my medial plan for an assessment on how best to do my recovery - talk therapy, group therapy, N.A. etc.

I actually paid by myself for 6 months of weekly visits when dealing with the whole "gay - coming out" and it sure cost me a bundle. I'll let my excellent insurance handle this one!

Yes, i am getting geared up to be honest and tell him and it sure will be great to get family support and to have help to watch for signs if i were to truly actually need a pain killer (car accident, hospitalization, etc.) and did not take it as prescribed. He already wonders why I do not drink alcohol like I used to (evenings, socially) The truth is I have NEVER mixed medication (even aspirin, tylenol) and alcohol for fear of a synergisitc effect = DEATH! So I have had no drinks since january. Sure, I take a beer or drink beacause thaqt is what I normally do at a party and when able to be alone dump it down the drain so people THINK I am drinking. Really sad what I went through to hide my addiction, plus what a waste of good liquor!

i actually look forward to a time in about a month when I can occiasionally have alcohol.

DAMN! my partner just called and reminded me that a work friend will come over tonight. Guess i will have to do it after he leaves.
Elvis1209 -

Thank you for posting your story and i wish you continued success using suboxone in getting off opiates.

Regarding benzos, I am using a .25 mg XANAX at night to help with sleep and the anxiety a cold turkey w/d can cause. However, i will switch to benaryl tonight (It is will 6 days at 7PM tonight off hydro for me) The main reason that i am not using benzos anymore is becuase i have read that the addiction to that can be very hard to break. Hopefully 6 evenings of use will not affect me (w/d wise from benzos)

I would not mix drugs at all. Try to use your sub and not use the bezo and ask you doctor if you have questions about anxiety.

i am feeling better , a little bit now, but still waking up in the AM and getting going is still very challenging! It seems to me that the early afternoons I get really depressed and low. i do not crave hydro then, just a overall low feeling comes on. When Elvis talks about being at work and not wanting to do any actual work i know EACTLY what he means. i used the "flu excuse" for time off during my at home detox and will leave the office early (3PM) and go home and rest. Then I force myself to exercise on the treadmill and that helps so much with mood elevation and energy for a few hours.

Keeo the quit and have a clean day. Re-reading all of the posts really helps when I am emotionally drained.
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Hello All --

These posts have meant so much to me. I wanted to let you all know that. I shared in another thread that I went to treatment 23 years ago (1983) and was addicted to regular cough syrup with hydrocodone in it and Tussionex (time released hydrocodone) and Forinol (sp?) #3.

I stayed totally clean for 20 years. I had to have several surgeries for several things for which I had to have narcotic pain killers in the last 3 years and have begun to struggle again with addiction. These forums have helped me so much. I just decided to start writing some. I only found it about a week ago. All of your comments have been such a great comfort, inspiration and help to me.

I am blessed to have a 30 year marriage to someone who is truly my soulmate. I have been honest with him from the beginning of these last 3 years. He has not judged me but has helped me so much. I started a week and a half ago to get totally off of the pain pills. He is helping. The first weekend with nothing, I really needed someone's help -- not just the physical part but the emotional and spiritual and mental anguish. I didn't sleep much and had one peak day that was horrible. I saw my pain management doctor a week ago this coming Friday, and she gave me my regular prescription, but my husband is keeping it.

So, I went one full week without any, now my husband is giving me a certain number each day and we are doing a taper. I don't feel them at all in my mind It helps some with the pain. It hasn't totally stopped the w/ding, but has somewhat eased things. I know I couldn't do it without his help.

Reading all of the post here has really helped me. I'd like to know how everyone is doing, even if you are having a hard time or have fallen in your efforts, please let us know. I was a drug counselor once, and I have fallen! How much worse can you get? We are not here only to cheer one another on in the great victorious times, but we are here to help one another even in the times we fail. We need each other through it all.

I Hope I've helped -- Meme

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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Wow reetz1960, I would just like to commend you on being so doggone honest ;) ! I believe it really takes alot for someone to be so honest about their addiction because most people would leave out those "little" details that really help someone like me (I myself am wondering if I'm an addicted to Lortab 10's) really understand all the many facets of addiction.

I would really like to thank you for opening up and not hiding your reality that you faced with addiction. Most people I know won't even admit half the things you did knowing they did the same thing but are too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

I really admire your straight forward, pull no punches, realism.
Thank You for sharing your story, and thank you for not sugar coating anything. I truly respect you and admire you for that. I think alot of folks will be able to learn something from your story as I did.

I wish you much luck with this problem, and I'd like to say that by being completely real with yourself as well as others is a very big start on the road to recovery and getting your life back.:wave:
~Best Wishes,
Tanya [/FONT]





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