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Hi Jennah,
I also have not been around these boards for a long while. For some reason I decided to check in tonight. Maybe it was to see your post and help shed some light on the suboxone confusion you've been having.
I think I stopped visiting the boards here because I also was reading some of the posts about suboxone and , like you, they were scaring me and making me think "what have I gotten myself into?". I needed to really trust my gut instinct that was telling me to stay with the suboxone and give it a try.
I'm so glad I did!
A little background on me: I was also addicted to Hydros and found my self on a roller coaster ride of withdrawing, staying clean for a while, and then eventually, relapsing. After several go rounds like this, and desperate, I decided to try the suboxone as I had read so many positive things about it. I had been through treatment and still couldn't get past the cravings so I knew I had to do something or I was going to lose everyone and everything that was important to me. It wasn't until after I started the program, that I began reading all the horrible w/d stories involved with sub.
I have now been on the sub for almost 2 1/2 years. While many people may think this is a long time, I feel that it has given me my life back. I went from being a totally irresponsible Wife, Mother (3 young children at home), Daughter and friend to being "me" again. I honestly can say I have no regrets whatsoever in my decision to take Suboxone. I currently take 12 mgs. daily and have found that over time, any side effects that I first had are totally gone. It has improved my emotional state and helps keep my back pain (the reason I started on pain meds in the first place) in check. Today, I am a happy, reasonably well-adjusted person and no-longer withdrawn and depressed. I rarely think about using hydros and have NO cravings what-so-ever. I honestly didn't think I would ever live a "normal" life again. Even thinking about it now seems like a very distant nightmare. I realize there will be a day in the distant future when I may feel it is time to stop taking the Sub, but for now my mantra is "if it ain't broke, why fix it?" I don't feel like I'm using the Suboxone as a crutch and my Doctor and I are in complete agreement about however long I feel I need to take it. I go once a month for my prescription and my insurance covers most of it, so I'm very blessed in that regard. The one down fall of the program is the high cost involved.
Please feel free to ask me any questions about Suboxone. I'd be happy to help. While I'm no expert, I definately have been on it long enough to know quite a bit about it.
As for now, my advice to you would be to trust you instincts. I believe you will find that Suboxone will certainly be all you'd hoped it would be.
Good Luck to you! I've been where you are right now, and there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Your life is waiting for you, and it can be better than you ever imagined it could be !!
:angel: ,
Mary Beth

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