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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Alisa,

I understand, to some extent, what you are going through. I was taking Vicodin for 3+ years, at first casually and then needed it to get through a day. For unrelated reasons, my marriage ended, and the Vicodin acted like an antidepressant for a few hours each day..BUT, then there were the hours that I felt so low and cruddy, I couldn't wait to take another dose. I am making a really long story short here, but I ended up very depressed and with panic attacks in January of this year. I thought it was all due to the Vicodin, but after I explained everything to my doctor, finally, she said what I was experiencing was beyond that of addiction and withdrawals. I went to a Psychiatrist who precribed me a real antidepressant, anti-anxiety meds, and sent me to a therapist. I didn't stop the Vicodin CT during this time, but I did start taking less, knowing the other drugs I was on was too much. I am now off the antidpressants and ended a long taper 7 days ago. I look back now and realize that if I just stuck with the Vicodin, I never would've gotten better. There was underlying depression and anxiety that needed treatment. You may be experiencing the same thing. Your depression needs attention, and there is so much help available for that. You can get help almost immediately, so talk to someone ASAP and stop trying to bear all of this burden alone. Once you have a few qualified professionals behind you, you won't feel so alone and, better yet, you will be starting the road to recovery! They can help you get off the Vicodin as well. Get help, and you have such a great chance of looking back 6 months from now (like me) and be so happy that you have a life back. I know you don't want to feel like THIS 6 months from now, so start now, and each day/week/month will be better until you have your life back. Don't wait until you end up in the ER like I did. I was lucky, but I thought for a while I had dome some real damage. You're so young and I believe you when you say you have a truly promising future. But even the most successful, intelligent, talented people are only human and sometimes need help. You need it and it's OK. Do one thing tomorrow to get there. Make a doctor appointment and tell someone. Once you have your office visit, you may cry knowing that you have had a weight lifted off of you and someone is going to help you. I wish you luck, and if I can provide you with any more information about how to get there, let me know!

Sleep well and know you are not alone!

Lisa





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