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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index


My name is Paul, and this is the first time we've chatted. I feel for you, bro - I understand what your feeling. I'm 42 days clean from 18 months of percocet hell! I also got engaged when I was using, and after I got clean, once the initial euphoria wore off, I found myself just wanting to be alone, and not sure if I made ther right choice in proposing to my girlfriend. Please understand this, quitting, going through w/d's, relapsing - all these things mess with your head. You are in no condition to make choices that will greatly impact the rest of your life. Find the reasons you fell in love with her in the first place. Now that she, and the rest of your family know the truth, don't push them away - let them help you. I'm sure that with every day that you stay clean, they will be more and more proud of you. In a way, consider it a blessing. My fiancée, and my family have no clue that I've ever taken a pain pill. In some ways, this had made my life easier (primarily because I am clean now), but in other ways, it has made my road harder, because I travelled it alone. I'm sure that experience is one of the reasons why I like to be alone.
The first thing you need to do is get your head straight - if you allow yourself to, you will think about the pills, about heroin. My Uncle died at 43 years old due to heroin, he left behind 4 children (the youngest was 3 years old). Don't leave your child without a father. My dad died when I was 12, trust me, growing up without your father sucks! You can do this, mule - I know you can!!

First step, bro - is forgiving yourself. You are human, you suffer pain, you make mistakes. Just try to learn from them. Please do not, I repeat DO NOT turn to heroin, you will have taken 100 steps back if you do. Be strong, accept the help that everyone in your life would like to give you (including us here), and move forward. Be an example to your son. Think about his future and the examples you set for him.

Don't give up, you CAN get through this!


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