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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I've asked myself this many times. I never used nasal spray but I was highly addicted to Sudafed.

I started smoking weed and cigs in high school with some drinking. I never liked alcohol that much or weed for that matter. I liked speed and Coke though. Anything that would keep me going. I hated to sleep and never liked it as a child.

Clubs and the party life for me! Loved it all but some drugs were not my choice. That didn't stop me from trying them out. I thought they were all pretty cool even if I didn't want to continue them.

I grew up with 2 intelligent, hippie-type parents. They set the limits and I broke them or broke them when they didn't know. They had high hopes for me but I loved a Tee I wore that said Zero Potential. Yeah, that way I didn't have to live up to anything.

I messed around and then quit most drugs except the once in a while Coke. I still hated alcohol but I smoked like a fish. I loved it and still do though I quit 5 years ago. Nothing is like that first drag in the morning. Nothing except dying.

I gave it all up until I found pain pills. Whoa! Now that was something I could get in to. Yeah, I had tried some 8 balls but too intense when you have bills to pay. But Vicodins were just what I needed. I could use those and still maintain. Even when I reached more than 100 per day.

Of course you can't get those unless you're doing something illegal and I sure was. Jail time and rehab for me many times over and none did any good. I can't do the 12 steps. I could only do 3 or 4 and then right back.

Pure will power made me give it up for a few years. Enough to finish college and land a good job. And find an honest, kind man to marry. I still smoked and I still found docs to give me my drugs. All legal.

One morning I woke up and thought this is it. Either I end it now or find help. I didn't want to tell my family but I went to a doc and got put on anti-depressants. I entered therapy. Six years later, I am off everything.

Why do people get addicted? Who really knows? Environment or genes? I have a theory that all are depressed whether it be chemical or otherwise. The main thing is to get help.


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